Fifty Shades Of Red | Charles Leclerc

41. Motives

Hailey's pov

I fidget with the long sleeves of my shirt, shifting uncomfortably from one leg to another, looking at the floor rather at him. How do I say that I'd rather he'd leave? That I'd rather be alone without being rude?

"I don't feel like having company at the moment." I say softly, crossing my arms over my chest, trying not to seem too vulnerable.

He ignores me and takes a seat at the end of my bed instead, intertwining his hands together, looking a bit lost. He clears his throat "I wouldn't have bothered you if it wasn't important."

He lifts his head up, his piercing blue-almost gray eyes looking right at me. "How are you holding up?"

I shrug, tired of people asking me the same question over and over again and tired of nodding and pretending I'm fine.

"I went to visit him at the hospital." He then says, catching my attention. I haven't heard anything back since I left the hospital myself but I also tried not going on my phone, knowing it'd be flooded with messages and news about Charles, so I keep my ears open "Pierre and his girlfriend were there, said you left not too long ago, but his condition remains the same."

"I couldn't stay any longer." I sigh and he nods like he understands.

"Will you visit him again before we leave? I can take you if you'd like?" His voice is soft and unsure, like he's scared he might break me if he says the wrong thing.

I shake my head.

"I'm not going back." I say, taking him by surprise and if he's thinking of anything, he chooses not to leave a comment on it.

I don't expect him to understand. I don't expect anyone to. Truth is, I can't go through that all over again, because it pains me. It's killing me to see Charles like that and it's killing me even more because of all the pain he's caused me. And I can't even be mad. I can't even hate him. Every time I search the darkest corners of my body for any sign of hate, I'm left disappointed.

"Why are you here...Max?" I straight forward ask, tired of going back and forth.

"Can you take a seat?" Max pats the top of my bed next to where he is seated. He watches me patiently, while I decide whether to sit there or not. I slowly walk and sit down in an angle facing him and the corner of his mouth turns upward, in an almost smile before fading again.

"I want you to know the truth...and I'd rather you hear it from me since I feel partly responsible for everything that went down." Max says and pauses, giving me time to think.

Responsible? Why would he feel responsible? He had nothing to do with what happened between me and Charles didn't he?

"I'm not following." I say, my brows furrowing together as I'm thinking.

"I know." Max says, taking my hands in his "And I'm here now to answer all of your questions."

Answering all my questions...helping me put all the pieces together...giving me all the means to look at the puzzle all complete, to end the riddle.

What if I'm not ready yet? Once you know something, you can't go back so what if I'd rather stay in the dark?

But I deserve to know the truth, don't I?

I separate my hands from his while getting up and walking to the window. I do want to know the truth, but not like this...

"I'd rather hear it from Charles." I say quietly.