Fifty Shades Of Red | Charles Leclerc

40. Remember

Hailey's pov

"Would you like something to eat?" I hear my mother softly ask from beside me but I only shake my head, too tired to respond. Eating is the last thing I feel like doing right now.

The drive back to the hotel where I'm now staying at was such a blur. I can't even remember walking out of the hospital, or changing my clothes or even getting in bed. A part of me thought that the clean sheets...sleeping under an unknown ceiling would make me feel better, would make me forget, would trick me into thinking that the worst is over but it only has thrown a wave of pain and uneasiness towards me because in the end, the other side of the bed it's empty.

I fight the urge to turn around and check to see if I'd find a warm body lying next to me...him and I almost give in, but I'm scared of disappointment. I'm scared because I know that I'd be imagining things, because I know that he's not actually here with me but...at least I can pretend. I can close my eyes and dream about how he'd run his hand through my hair, how he'd whisper sweet nothings into my ear, how his soft lips would kiss the spot just under my eyebrow. And I almost feel him.

I pull the covers over my head, letting myself be engulfed by the darkness under the sheets.

I wanted to go back to Charles' apartment at first, but it didn't feel right. It wouldn't have felt right if I had walked inside without him by my side. And I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to feel alone, so I decided to go with my parents instead.

I feel a hand rubbing my back before my mother pulls the covers down, my lungs filling with air again. I turn on the other side of the bed, facing her, not because I'm looking for comfort, if anything, my mother's red eyes don't make me feel any better, but because that side of my pillow is drenched with tears.

"Where's dad?" I ask, realising he's no where to be found.

"He had to take care of something but he will be back soon...promise." My mom strokes my cheek, making me want to fall into a long nap and wake up the next day.

"I'm sorry...about Charles." She says slowly, unsure whether to continue or not and watches me with her motherly gaze, making sure I feel okay enough to hear this "I didn't know him for long, but...it still hurts me nonetheless. I basically watched him grow through the Tv screen when you'd sit and watch karting, begging me to take you too." She sniffles and I try to shake away the thoughts of how hard it might have been for my mom, to witness another crash like that, to walk through more hospital halls, and I understand her now more than ever. Because watching someone you love be involved in that type of accident is scary but I still envy her for staying strong and for having the courage to try and move forward.

I hope that can be me one day.

"Do you remember the day when Charles took me on a walk around the paddock?"

I wish she'd stop talking about Charles, but I also want to hear more. I want to get to know more of him, about the Charles' from her point of view.

I nod.

"I could tell he was really nervous to meet me at first. He was trying to look put together but he wouldn't stop playing anxiously with this tie he had on his wrist."

I smile inside, at the thought of Charles being nervous, because he was rarely nervous around me.

"He talked a lot about you." My mom says and my heart skips a bit "Actually...he wouldn't shut up about you. And at first I was a bit in doubt about this relationship, but the things that he told me...it really made me miss my daughter and curse myself for missing out on so many things in your life the past year."

I reach out to hold her hand and she takes it.

"But Charles never looked down on me for it, instead he talked like you hung the moon for him. And that's when I knew."