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Chapter one

TRIGGER: suicide attempt and self harm

3rd person

Flash back

Felix groaned over, grabbing his stomach as the pain was beginning to become unbearable. His vision was blurry because his glasses had fallen off his face, he was basically blind without them. Just then a foot come down to his side, kicking him over again as he laid on the ground. He didn't need his glasses to know who was inflicting the pain, Hwang Hyunjin. His bully since he was almost seven years old. He could hear him laughing deep into his own diaphragm. More tears spilled out of Felix's eyes, shutting them hard waiting for the next kick.

There is was, pushing Felix over the edge as his body just continued to take the beating. This was nothing new to him, Hyunjin followed him home after school and cornered him. Felix took every extra class he could to try and avoid leaving school at the same time as him but Hyunjin always found him. A huge clap of thunder brought Felix back to his body, rain started pouring down on him as his weak body received another kick.

"Aye hyunjin come on it's raining" he heard someone call from afar. It made Felix relax knowing this beating wouldn't last much longer. "Coming" he heard Hyunjin yell back before getting one last kick in and laughing as he walked away. Felix just laid there, trying to control his own feelings. The rain felt nice, refreshing almost but stung in the places Hyunjin left cuts. Getting up he messed around on the ground trying to find his glasses, just then he felt something that could have resembled them if they weren't stepped on. Sighing he put them on, the one side hanging off because it was snapped off, his lenses cracked but he could still make out things in his view.

Picking himself up he walked home in the rain, blood dripping down his lip and cheek. He walked up to his house, going in the back door so his older sister Ronnie didn't catch him. Coming in quietly shutting the door he heard someone yell his name from behind him. Fuck.

"Felix holy shit what happened to you" she exclaimed running over to him with a towel. "Nothing Ron I just slipped on the wet pavement" Felix responds nonchalantly. "No seriously Felix who did this to you" she asked him again. "God no one, Jesus Ronnie you're not my fucking parent" he hisses back at her. Leaving her standing there alone as he walked to his room.

Throwing his soaking wet backpack on the ground he moaned when his body hit his bed. He really didn't know how much longer he could take this. He took his glasses off, rummaging through his drawer next to his bed for his spare pair. They weren't really spares as they were just an older model of his lenses but anything was better than the broken ones. He put them on but as he was about to close the drawer he saw it, it had been so long since he slipped up.

After today he didn't care though, he didn't care about anything. His body was numb. He wanted to leave forever. He took out the razor, breathing hard as he lifted it to his arm and plunged it deep into his skin. The quick release of red drained from the cut, he began to feel weak. Almost euphoric as the pain in his body was lifting.

He didn't remember what happened next, he just remembered waking up in the hospital. His sister sleeping next to him in a chair, his arm was all stitched up. He moved around before she finally woke up, realizing he was awake and alive she grabbed onto him tightly. "Felix, never do that to me again please" she whispered into the hug.

That was three years ago. Felix and his sister moved across the country living with Ronnie's friends in Australia. But Ronnie wanted to go back to Korea, Felix wanted her to follow her dreams of being a trainee so he moved back with her. They had saved up a bit of money living with her friends so they were able to get a comfortable house to rent, nothing too big but also not a dump.

After moving in the last of their things the siblings collapse on the couch, looking around the living room they both smiled. "I want you to tell me if things get bad again Felix, I promise I will help you anyway I can" she says softly to her brother, grabbing his hand and holding it tight. Felix smiled over to her but the smile soon faded realizes his hell was going to start the next day at school.

Getting up early Felix started to get ready, showering and getting dressed. He put on his jeans and a baggy oversized sweater hiding his arms. Fixing his hair one last time he ran out the door and on his way to school. It had been three years since Felix was back at this place but he surly didn't look like the same Felix that left here. Still not wanting to cause any drama he kept his head low, his black beanie covering his blonde wispy hair as his headphones blared music into his ears.

Making it all the way to his locker he opened it, no one was messing with him. Putting his bag away he grabbed his books for his first class and headed to the room. Walking in everyone gasped looking at him, Felix must have noticed the shift in attention as he pulling out on of his headphones looking up at the eyes staring at him.

"Ah I heard you were coming back this year, nice to see you again Felix. Please take your seat" the teacher said to him. Looking around the class his heart stopped. Coming face to face with the one person he thought he'd never had to see again.

Hwang Hyunjin

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