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There she was, agonizing fear running through her body. Ava was close to being caught, so close. Storming into an OR, closely followed by Connor. She had to get away.
"Give me an hour to get to O'Hare, one hour and you'll never see me again" she pleaded all the knowing off his answer. But still hoping for a chance.
"No" he replied coldly, any emotion drained out of his eyes. Leaving a dark, bitter void. Ava couldn't bear look into them, the way they once held so much adoration, now all lost.
"I did it for you" an icy smile combined with her fragmented brown eyes. The pain of every word said rested in them. Even if those where lies, somewhere the brute truth laid.
"Ava come on" Connor urged, but for what? So he could she her get caught? Maybe that exact thought was what's hurting her more. It was nothing new to her, they where all the same. Everyone she once thought loved her.
"We could've been so happy" she continued, now turned towards the tray holding the instruments. Ava held a scalpel, the cool metal resting in her hand. Surges of sadness and nostalgia. Those little moments of joy she had with him. "You ruined it all" her grip tightened, memories rushing to her head as she faced him again.
Connor's eyes flicked between her and the scalpel. He watched her every move, unsure.
"You really are an ungrateful prick" she glared at him, lifting the scalpel and holding it right against her throat.
"NO NO NO NO" he screamed, desperately trying to stop her. But she swiftly dragged it over her artery, though not before a last, hurt gaze. She felt everything blur, hearing Connor yell for help, people barging in, being lifted on the table. She knew it was too late, the cut was precise and clean, rendering every possibility to save her worthless.
Ava felt everything slowly fade, slipping deeper in unconsciousness. There was a part of her relieved, but a much more prominent part dismayed. That sliver of hope, clinging onto live. It didn't hurt, nothing did anymore, she felt completely numb.
The last pieces fell together, mentally and physically. Briefly regaining a little consciousness, she could vaguely make out Connor's figure, looming over her with worry.
"Sinus rhythm" his distant yet so close voice said, concern trailing off the words. He worked meticulously, fearfully.
Ava's senses blurred again, there was so much she wanted in the moment, but she could only wait after the surgery. Now fully unconscious, Connor finished the repair, beginning to close her up.
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I deeply apologize for what is coming next<3-Liv
Days passed like nothing ever happened, every tiny detail of that night was burned and buried. Crude weight pushing on both Ava and Connor as she recovered.
He came up to see her, the guilt still crushing him. The way he spoke to her, so soft and pure, so incredibly hurt. It was almost poetic, the care he put, the lightheartedness so much for what played.
On the other side?
Still unconscious, Ava was slowly recovering. The hints of pain, of dismay, ridden on her pale features. The happenings scratched deep into her soul.
Now after a month, she surfaced closer to lucidity. Continuously more aware of her surroundings. Connor didn't know what to feel. Feelings
of relief, nonetheless so bittersweet.
Seeing the woman he loved, so vulnerable, but the buried feeling of distrust and anger made the situation ever so distasteful.
A week, and Ava was conscious. Connor was the first one up to see her, hoping for clarity.
She glared at him, coldly. The spite and deep hurt in her frightened eyes, shielded by fierce determination.
"Ava" the warmth in his voice, so different from that night. She held quiet, finding herself unable to look at his blue eyes.
"Leave me alone" an adequate balance between fear and distress. She didn't want him here, not yet at least. She had longed for the time where she would be gone, a serene time where she was unbound from relentless pressure.
Connor didn't move, just flinch at the sharpness in her voice. Off from the way he had perceived it, ceaselessly thinking she would be happy to see him. Alas, it made him realize something.
If he was wrong about this, what more about Ava has he been wrong about? In what more ways has he hurt her?
"When you said you did it for me, what did you mean?" the last few words she had said before struck his mind. The same words that left him so uncertain.
Silence.
"I'm not an idiot, I knew that batch was laced with chromium, but what choice did I have?" a witty, half sarcastic remark yet her mind seemed somewhere else. The way her face stood, the mild fear stirred with pained memories.
"Wait what?" Connor asked visibly confused, words lightly dipped in concern.
"I was forced to give your father the insulin" it was ugly and blunt, but still the truth, how disgusting it might be. Ava seemed distraught, still pale and ticking in and out of association.
Questions still roamed his mind, but seeing her wary state, they where better unasked. For now she wanted to be alone, but there was one thing he couldn't not do.
Lifting her chin, careful not to graze the wound on her neck. Forcing her brown eyes to look at his blues. Lost in hesitance, like a hazy trance.
Connor kept the stare unbroken, fragments of the past hidden in them, sullen.
"I'm sorry" his voice crackling, keeping the tears back.
Ava felt at a loss, trapped, but so free. It was suffocating, his blue eyes fixated on her, on every move she made. His light touch, his voice, scent, everything, it made her feel sick of bittersweet nostalgia.
The seconds passed like hours, deliberately slow, agonizing. Connor was the first to falter, taking a few steps back.
"I'll be back to check on you" he smiled lightly, turning away swiftly, feeling as if he would break down if he stayed in the room another minute.
Ava nodded subtly, quiet. Eyes trailing behind, watching him leave. Until he was out of sight, her gaze still settled on the door. All feelings of comfort leaving alongside him.
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A/N
Words: 1048
Hope you enjoyed some angst😈
If you like us working together, you'll be happy to know that we have a Rhekker book planned! So that will happen instead of the diary thing<3
Hihii, hope you all enjoyed this!! Loved working on this and stay tuned for our book xoxo- Liv
