J.A.C.I.E.'s World (All Time Low Fanfiction | Jack Barakat)

Chapter 15

The day I was supposed to fly back to LA came way too soon. Jack and I had only gotten to spend a day together, and it didn't feel like enough time. But what would have ever been enough time? There never was going to be enough time to spend with each other, not even when we were both old and greying.

We were at an airport again, only this time I was the one about to leave. The terminal was bustling with travellers trying to get to their destinations. Jack and I stood amongst the crowd, holding each other's hands until he couldn't go any further and we'd have to part ways. It felt like such a familiar scene.

Jack's thumb rubbed soothing circles on the back of my hand, his eyes filled with concern as we stopped before the security queue. "I hate saying goodbye."

I nodded, my heart feeling heavy. "I know, me too."

Although we'd been here before, and I absolutely hated doing this, I felt like things weren't as bad this time. It was going to be another month until we'd see each other again, but it didn't seem as long as two months. I was excited to get back into the studio and write songs again. And it wouldn't be too long until I officially moved in with Jack. There was so much to look forward to.

Jack's voice was quiet as he looked me in the eyes, his words laced with worry. "Promise me you won't lose yourself again?"

It was a valid concern. The past weeks hadn't been the most reliable. They were filled with anxiety, doubts, and painful memories. It was easy to fall back in that pattern again. But I was determined to not let that define me.

"I won't, Jack," I squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I'm not going to make the same mistakes."

"I just don't want you to go through that again." He frowned.

"I promise you, I won't let myself fall into the darkness."

"Are you sure?" The trouble never left his face as he continued to search my eyes for some kind of answer or sign. "Please call me if you feel yourself going there."

"Of course, I will," I stressed, staring right back at him. My intentions had never been to make him this distressed.

"I love you, okay?"

"I know you do," I put my other hand on his cheek comfortingly. "And I love you."

He gave me a gentle smile and I pressed my lips against his. He relaxed into the touch a little, but I could also feel just how hard he was trying to convey how much he meant the words. I just tried to be as soft and gentle as possible. He needed to understand that I really would be fine this time around. I wouldn't go down the same dark path again.

"I'll be fine," I whispered against his lips as we started to pull away.

He decided it wasn't time to part ways just yet and closed the distance again. This time, it was more about trying to remember each other's touch. We needed something to keep us going until he'd come back home. I tried to remember how his scruff scratched my chin, the way his skin felt against my calloused fingertips, and the way his lips moved with mine.

But it all had to come to an end. We rested our foreheads against each other for a second longer before I stepped back.

"Okay, time for me to go," I breathed out, glancing at the queue I had to join.

He nodded and carefully unknotted his fingers from mine. "Alright. Text me when you're home."

I agreed and gave him one last peck before going through the great maze to join the queue. Jack waved at me as he continued to watch until I disappeared behind the wall.

I got through the security and had quite a lot of time left to kill. Luckily, the airport had many shops for me to browse through. Most things were way out of my price range. Especially with the 39 cents in my bank account. Fortunately, I didn't need the designer items, perfumes, or souvenirs. But then my eyes fell on a specific clothing rack.

I didn't expect to find it here, but I knew it would make Jack lose his mind. It was a purple hoodie with the Baltimore Ravens logo printed on the front.

I pulled it off the rack and held it up in front of me in the mirror before taking a picture. I sent the photo over to Jack with the caption 'look what I found'. As I started my way back to the rack to hang it back up, my phone already buzzed with a notification.

Jack: Shit. Get it.

I chuckled softly, but my phone buzzed again. This time, I got a notification saying that Jack had sent ninety dollars for 'ravens hoodie'. Initially, I rolled my eyes. I didn't need it at all. But then the mischievous part of my brain started working. What if I wore it when he got home? What if I wore it with nothing underneath? Nothing at all. I bit my lip just thinking of the outcome and decided I needed to get it even if I had to use my credit card.

So, with my backpack another hoodie heavier, I continued to wander around until my gate was called.

My flight back to LA was quite uneventful. There were a few kids occasionally screaming and I was bored out of my mind. But it wasn't anything different than usual. The fact that it felt uneventful actually made me quite happy. I was no longer worried about what was going to happen between me and Jack.

As I walked through the arrivals hall, I glanced around the busy crowds to see if I could spot my dad. After telling him I was out on the east coast, he offered to pick me up. I appreciated the familiar face waiting for me, and it was a welcome offer with my bank account drained. It didn't take too long for me to finally spot him somewhere.

"Dad!" I called out with a smile as I walked up to him.

"Hey, Jacie," he said, giving me a tight hug before pulling back to look at me. "How was your trip?"

"It was good," I nodded with a genuine smile tugging at my lips.

We walked out of the airport together to get back to the car. I dropped my backpack in the backseat and got into the passenger seat myself. He was taking me back home for the night. I'd be going back to my place with Hazel after my studio session the next day.

"So... you want to tell me why you flew all the way to the east coast for a day?" My dad spoke up as we got onto the freeway.

I looked at him, feeling a little ashamed. "We got into a fight..."

"Oh." His gaze briefly flickered in my direction but stayed focused on the road.

"It was my fault really. We made up before, but it didn't feel right yet."

"How so?"

"It's hard to describe," I sighed, looking out of the window. "It felt like it could all still fall apart. Like it would fall apart."

He took a second to process what I said. "Did your trip help?"

I nodded. "It did."

We continued to sit in silence for a little longer. I continued to reflect over the past month. Where did it go wrong? Why had Jack leaving affected me so much? I just couldn't understand what had been going through my mind. I didn't understand why I had been feeling so low.

I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts. "Dad? I think I need help."

He hummed in response, urging me to continue with a little bit of confusion.

"I've been struggling," I admitted for the first time outloud. "I need to get help before I end up like mom."

He kept his eyes on the road, but frowned. Yet again, he took some time to choose the right words. Eventually, he spoke in a gentle tone. "I'm glad you're opening up to me about this. It takes a lot to be able to recognise that. But don't ever be afraid of turning into your mom. That's a whole different situation."

"I just... I feel fine now, but I don't want to go down a slippery slope."

He reached over and put a comforting hand on my leg. "We'll get you whatever help you need."