Broken Wings

chapter 6

I clean up my mess of lunch and watch Peeta cook. When he cooks, he gets a look on his face much like the one I get while I'm in the woods. Free and concentrated on things that I enjoy.

Having Peeta in my house feels somewhat peaceful, like nothing is going to bother you and you are free to be yourself. The feeling is so normal, its odd. I've only been in his house that once, and all though he comes every morning someone is always here. We are also sitting in this awkward air, which kind kills any sense of peace. But here and now we sit is silence, but it isn't awkward and in need of something to break it. It is purely pleasant.

I don't know what he is doing, but it smell delicious. The aroma pulls me from my thoughts, and I stand up and walk over. Peeta is at the stove stirring the origin of the smell bouncing around my kitchen. He points his head in the direction of the oven without taking his eyes of what looks to be a sauce. "what was it?" I instantly look down with shame, my cooking skills aren't even questionable, they're downright awful.

"Some sought of roll I saw in the Capital with cheese and greens through it." He starts laughing under his breath and I try and fight it to stay upset, but Peeta's joy is infectious. So, I start laughing, lightly, as well.

"You could of just asked me. I know how to make them, and apparently better than you."

"Yeah, well I know that now. I just wish I could cook, even just a little. I mean just look you've been cooking for maybe 15 minutes and I already smells good. What are you making anyway?"

"Spaghetti, it really isn't that hard to cook once you know the basics." He says as he drains a pot of pasta that I hadn't noticed till now, "I could teach you if you want." This could be useful to fill my day with something other than boredom. Plus, I am so sick of my own cooking. I'm about to nod yes when Peeta adds with a chuckle, "although not right away you've already burnt yourself rather badly. You really do need the help."

"Hey!" I say and punch his shoulder, making him spill some of the sauce he is serving for the two of us. Satisfied, I drink some water.

"The truth hurts, sweetheart." He says, imitating Haymitch perfectly, making me shoot water from my nose. He cracks up as I try to get over the burning sensation in my nose. "that's not fair! Now my nose hurts as well as my hands" I squint my eyes at him. He tries hard to suppress his smile and give me a sympathetic look, but he fails dismally.

"All right, I'm sorry. Let's eat I'm starving." I glare playfully at him as I take my plate to the table. Once seated we start eating and on the very first bite, I'm instantly joyous. This is the best thing I've eaten in ages because Greasy Sae stopped leaving me dinners say that it was time, I start being more responsible. It's a good thing she knows I'm not ready to go into town yet because she keeps my fully stocked pantry fully stocked. The only thing she doesn't buy is meat, this is my department, but I haven't been able to go since the last time when I found Prim's card. This must be the last of the turkey I shot, Sea processed it while I was out of it. The seams tradition of not wasting food still thick in her veins.

I don't think I have ever had this meal before, but it is something I want again. I try to eat it in small bites, but I'm done in a matter of minutes. I scrape the bowl clean with my finger to get the very last bit, laughing within myself at the thought of Effie and her disgust. I know I want more but I should probably ask Peeta if he does as well before I eat it all by myself. I open my mouth to ask him, but the words fall short when I realise, he is watching me. He's deep in thought and I get the sense he has been this way for a while. I get a little self-conscious and try cover up my scares, I don't know why though. I have never been very caring on what I look like but now-a-days I feel embarrassed, and I'm about to get my jacket on to cover them when he speaks.

"The paintings have helped me, but there are still questions I can't figure out the answers to." I don't know what to say to this, although I have never really known what to say about anything. So, I keep quiet and wait for him to continue. "I..." he drops his gaze. "You said you wanted to help me. I know I'm asking a lot, but if you still want could I..." Peeta takes a deep breath in "could I ask you some questions?" I pause because his is a lot to ask.

"What if you don't like what the answers are?" He looks back up at me with a sense of relief just mildly touching the edges. "At least it will be the truth." I get up to clear the dishes, suddenly hit with nausea. What if he hears about the things I did and hates me now that he isn't blinded by an undying love. If so my days like this are numbered. I must help though; I did destroy his history, so I need desperately to repair it. He would have done the same if our places were switched. I'm scared I'll lose the chance to be close again. With this having a likely negative impact on my slumber for a while, I start to shake a little. But I must hide this from Peeta because I need to help him, so I fight it down and keep scrubbing. This is until he gently grabs my forearm and spins me around to face him. When I refuse to look at him, Peeta lifts my chin with his free hand.

"I'm not forcing you to do anything. I am so sorry I asked, I don't know if it is because your scarred, I lose it. I understand, it's a rational fear I'd hoped you'd never ever have." He says soothingly "If I'm truly that frightening to you, I'll go." But he remains looking into my eyes. "But I don't think that's it, is it? You're afraid but not of me." Peeta reads me like a book, a book he is proud to be able to read. "Yes, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that you'll regret even knowing me when you've heard what I've done. I want to help you I'm just a little scared, so let's do it tomorrow morning after breakfast." I rethink my answer and ad, "I am not afraid of you. That thought didn't even cross my mind, now go home so I can clean up after our meal." Peeta smiles at this and asks me if I'm sure, when I nod, he gives my hand a squeeze and says goodbye. Leaving me upon request, to contemplate what I just agreed to.