Broken Wings

chapter 9

Maybe this is stupid. Peeta wouldn't want to be bombarded by my issues, he has enough of his own already. I help Peeta because I want him to get better and because it's my fault, he is broken in the first place. Would he want to help me? Even with all these thoughts in my head, my legs have gone into overdrive, and it is no time before I'm under the fence and back in the district. I can't stop myself from moving, but the closer I come the more this sounds like a dumb idea. I can see his house now and I finally gain control enough to change course right in front of it. I don't want to go home yet, the lonely feeling I get there is entirely different from the one in the woods. A lonely that traps instead of frees. Haymitch is out of the question because I'm still angry with him. I try no think about it too much though, I just got over the last breakdown and another would be excessive. The only other place would be to go see Greasy Sae

The sun is extra everything today, extra hot, extra bright. The white-hot beams make it hard to see so I keep my head down, as I turn to head to town. I am such a fool, thinking that I could plain and simply ask. That would end up heaping coals of guilt on his head, leaving his help nowhere near an act of friendship but rather an act of pity. I don't want pity from anyone, especially not from him. I don't know why his opinion has such an effect on me, like the scar I have on my lip. I hate the idea of him seeing it. I've caught myself trying to rub it off so many times today my lip is getting saw. I am doing it now so I forcibly put my hands in my pockets and focus on keeping them there, which is harder than it looks. My mouth is itching, but a fake itch, like the kind your brain makes to get your attention. It gets so uncomfortable, but I will my hands stay down. I start chewing on my lip now and I am at total war with myself. I'm so focused on this internal war that is unrelenting that I walk straight into Peeta with a thud that sends me and all his things to the ground.

"Katniss are you okay?" he says, helping me up, he doesn't look at me though as if making a point to check his belongings rather than. I'm not complaining though, this gives me time to let my hands loose and they go d straight to my face. My other hand shoos away Peeta's hand away.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry for bumping into you." I grab some of the supplies that are around me. "I'll help you carry some of this stuff." Once my arms are full, I get up. There are a lot of house supplies here, he and I both are carrying our full capacity. That's why he didn't see me either, I think as I walk behind him so I can still use both hands. He must have just gotten them from the station, you get them delivered to your door unless you are there to pick them up upon arrival. But we mainly go there ourselves, it helps to give us something to do. I forgot the delivery day was today. We climb his stairs to the door, and with some shuffling, he opens and lets me pass into the threshold. When we enter the kitchen, I decide to start putting away the supplies, he told me once that we arranged our cupboards the same way. I open the pantry and realize he wasn't wrong, sure there are some differences, but they are similar.

Once the stuff is put away, Peeta has made tea for us. I thank him quietly and we sit at the counter in silence, not a peaceful one though. Something in the room feels off, looking around while sipping my I know what it is. Everyone has a resting face, the worst thing about them is that they show the strongest emotion in your brain. Peeta's current resting face is a scowl. I know it has something to do with me but I'm not sure what I did. Did it could be that I packed the cupboards wrong, but he was upset with me before that. Is he really that upset that I walked into him? That can't be it.

"What's your problem?" He looks at me a little stunned, I'm shock myself.

"I didn't say anything, who says I'm upset." He brushes me off, but I'm not done apparently. "Me. I say so. You've got it written all over your face, and I just know that it's because of me. So, spit it out."