Felicity Reviews

Review by Mahi: The Pentagon Paradox📗

Reviewer: Mahi (sparklet11)

Requester: The Pentagon Paradox by chaotic_marss

Title: 5/5

An intriguing title. The title itself completes the objective of delivering you story's genre – mystery and thriller. Catchy enough for mystery enthusiasts to choose your book, like me. I immediately wanted to unravel what the Pentagon was and learn more about the case dealt.

Cover: 5/5

Usually I would have preferred to have an imagery of the main characters in a cover, especially when it's a crime thriller, but this one is beautiful! I love the gun covered in blood, the missing case file and shattered pieces of glass. It's apt for your book.

Summary: 4.5/5

The blurb is pretty neat and easy to comprehend the plot of your enthralling book. It gives me a neat introduction of the two main leads – Adeline and Scarlet and the situation your book deals with. I think it would be better to separate the paragraphs, as in adding one more space line so it looks more appealing and perceptible. I think that adding a space would reduce its complexity. However, your blurb is well-written and kudos to that!

Grammar & Punctuation: 4/5

The use of punctuation in this story is very precise and crisp. You have almost no grammatical errors and the usage of italics is very organized. And that's great for a writer who knows when and where to use italics in their text. Now if you are wondering why I haven't given you full points despite your deserving merits, it's because I noticed certain areas where you have made a very silly yet common mistake – forgetting to capitalize the beginning letters of a sentence. 

You have a very compelling plot and I do not want to think of the fact that the capitalization overshadows your awesome work. As a writer, I think you need to focus on reviewing your chapters before publishing it, to prevent spelling and other grammatical mistakes.

Character Building: 4.5/5

Let's enter the most awaited part! And it is the most awaited because I loved it to the core.

You caught my attention as soon as you initiated your story, beginning with the antagonist – the skilled assassin and probably my favourite character, Scarlet. She is a sleek, swift, sharp and an accomplished killer. And I love her for her killing techniques she uses and the vast knowledge she has. I must appreciate you for defining this character in the most impeccable way. 

I just L.O.V.E it when she kills her target in a very organized and clever manner. She is super admirable, though she is an assassin, but I must agree that I admire her more than Adeline.

Adeline, the short yet talented detective is nicely described. I like her straightforwardness and her bold character, but quite shocked by her trait of easily being distracted. I like her way of procuring information upon emphasizing that she is a research specialist. And not forgetting to mention her milk obsession —pure humour. 

But I feel that she isn't as much interesting as Scarlet. In the sense, she is a very plain regular heroine, and not much of boldness (except that time with Oliver). I feel she could be shown stronger and smarter. That could be improved with maybe more character defining. Also, I love how you keep hinting her short height and the perks she uses.

All other supporting characters are accurately defined. Even if they appear for a single scene, their presence and actions are well-planned and written in an organized manner.

Writing Style: 4/5

Whatever the plot be, the way you deliver is what matters to entice a reader. Your writing style is great—its crafted precisely and I can see that. It transcends in a bit unexpected yet smooth pattern. Even though I am aware that the genre is mystery and romance, I would have loved to see a spoon of thriller added. Maybe, if the scenes were described in a bit more nail-biting and curiosity-developing manner, there's no chance for the reader to pause your book midway.

I love the sentence formations. I am taken aback because it is simple yet complex, which is great, and I personally love it. I prefer books with quite simple language enough to comprehend the plot, but not too simple. And maybe that's why I love your story.

I also admire the subtle humour introduced at unexpected yet apt moments. It's a nice way of keeping your readers engrossed but also have fun. And do tell me how you came up with 'rainbow vomit' !

Besides all other kinds of scenes, the way the victim is killed is flawlessly narrated. That's what makes me admire Scarlet and her skills, and make me awe of her techniques.

Your descriptions of each character based on their appearance is completed within one or more lines. It's not bad, but I would have preferred at least a maximum of four lines while describing the moment when Adeline meets Grey. Maybe, it could have been more developed to appear that Adeline was awestruck by his beauty. But this is also nice, it makes the story move faster.

Plot Originality: 5/5

Two chapter in and I can confirm it's originality. I haven't come across any book where the killer, the antagonist, I mean the whole dark world, is just a few steps away from the protagonist. This kind of plot surprisingly intrigues the reader as they begin thinking of how Adeline will discover Scarlet's dark world. I am totally in love with this kind of plot!

Reader Engagement: 4.5/5

The plot adds to your points when it comes to reader's engagement. It is a well-crafted story and I am sure the readers are able to keep up with its pace and unravel the mystery along with Adeline.

Comments:

Focus points:

- Capitalization.

- More description in character appearance.

- Continue your amazing work!!

Overall Score: 36.5/40