Felicity Reviews

Review by Watts: Stay📗

Story: Stay

Author: lostlovefairy

Reviewer: @Watts_Writes Watts_Writes

Book Title: 2/5
Book Cover: 3/5
Summary: 4/5
Grammar/Punctuation: 4.5/5
Character Development: 3/5
Reader Engagement: 3/5
Writing Style: 3.5/5
Plot Originality: 3/5
Total: 26/40

Book Title: 2/5

First, let me say that titles are hard. How do you convey genre and story and entice readers all at once? Your story's title makes it difficult for me to discern the genre and doesn't tell me much about the story. Because of this, readers may not move forward with your story.

Book Cover: 3/5

Your cover reads as New Adult Contemporary Romance. The colours are vibrant in a way that's pleasant and eye-catching. The male cover model and the hand-holding are reminiscent of IG videos from a few years ago and speak to the age range for this story.

The title is clear and easy to read. However, the author's name is difficult to discern. I suggest adjusting it so it also pops (to ensure readers know who you are).

For me, the cover works for the genre, but it doesn't necessarily speak to the story's location, which is a medical school.

This cover gives a beachy-summer love vibe rather than an academic base.

Summary: 4/5

Your story summary is great. It reads like the back of a book jacket. It introduces your characters and the main conflict and perfectly sets the story's tone.

Grammar/Punctuation: 4.5/5

Your story is well-written, with no glaring errors in spelling or punctuation. Your sentence structure is well done, making the story easy to read and follow.

Character Development: 3/5

Your main characters, Fiza and Alan, are interesting in how diametrically opposite they are to each other. The story is very much an opposites-attract trope, which you demonstrate well. I found, at times, Fiza to be both a bit judgemental and overly prudish, making it hard for me to connect with her.

She also reads younger than I assume her age to be (18?), whereas Alan reads considerably older. I found Alan to be the more interesting character of the two because his flaws were more on display from the story's onset. Fiza, at times, feels one-dimensional because her focus is so specific.

In the seven chapters I read, Fiza doesn't break any of her rules or step outside her comfort zone. Instead, she expects Alan to adhere to her rules, though she becomes more lenient regarding his personal choices.

While I loved the descriptions of Alan watching Fiza and his building interest in her, I wasn't quite sure why she would enthrall someone like him because she feels, in many ways, self-righteous.

That said, there are great moments of chemistry between these two characters, and you do a good job of demonstrating their desire for each other and the push and pull that you want in romantic leads.

Reader Engagement: 3/5

I liked that you quickly established the relationship between Fiza and Alan, but it felt like you skipped over some interaction/relationship development.

You moved us through a time-lapse fairly quickly, which meant we missed key relationship-building (when they first prepared for the duet). That was a great opportunity to demonstrate more of the chemistry between the two characters.

You could take some time to dig into their budding friendship to emphasize their connection and make the eventual transition from friends to lovers that much stronger.

It's also much more interesting for them to interact than to be told they did.

As a side note, the "Do it. Duet" wordplay was fantastic, witty, and charming.

The descriptions of Alan watching and noticing Fiza are fantastic. They help describe her to your readers and demonstrate how much attention he pays her, which drives home his infatuation with her.

You could stand to smooth your transitions between actions and scene changes. They feel a bit jumpy, and the pacing is sometimes too fast, moving from one thought to another with little context.

Don't be afraid to take moments to breathe or let the scene build. There are times in the story when the narration is heavier on telling the reader what's happening rather than showing. If you can find ways to rework your narrative so the reader is in the moment with your characters, the story will become even more engaging.

Overall, I love the setting and can see the story developing into a great will they/won't they with a lot of pining to boot, making for a heartfelt romance.

Writing Style: 3.5/5

Your writing style guides the reader with a lot of confidence. Your character's voices are unique, it's easy to tell them apart and their motivations are clear.

You do have a tendency to create short scene sequences wherein conversation is limited before jumping to a new scene.

This means we don't get to spend enough time witnessing character development or chemistry.

There is also a tendency to tell rather than show, which can sometimes make the story feel less focused. Your story shines when you let your main characters interact. Their dialogue flows well and feels natural to both their characters and how people speak in general.

Plot Originality: 3/5

The plot incorporates a variety of common romance tropes, which makes it feel familiar. There is nothing wrong with this. The medical school setting is a nice change of pace and adds a new element to the type of story you're telling.