the essence of life is love

Naamloos deel 18

"NO, NO, NO! That is not going to happen. You will stop that. This cannot be, this is not what I want you to do."

"Lara, what are you saying? Why are you talking about what you want? It's my life, I decide what I want to do."

"No, really, I don't want it."

"Well, tough luck. I've already signed."

Seb, with a very forced smile, looks at his girlfriend. She has red cheeks and bulging eyes. Since she entered and he told her what the studio plans are, she exploded. She's been away for two weeks, hasn't communicated anything about what she was doing or where she was. Her bag is still on the floor by the door. With a crutch, he waited for her, she just walked past him without even giving him a kiss. The first thing Lara asked was if there was any news from his job, if he could go on another photo shoot. No answers came to any of his questions, or she didn't hear him. During her tirade, he sat back on the couch. Lara doesn't listen anyway, so he took his script and started reading while she walked up and down, seemingly checking everything. He heard cupboards being opened, doors slammed, and drawers violently pushed.

And she keeps talking to him. Only after about fifteen minutes does she stand in front of him, quiet, looking at him.

"Where have you been? Who has been snooping around in the cupboards? You?"

"No, not me, Kaan."

Seb hasn't looked up from his paper.

"How can you let strangers look into our cupboards? Your shirts aren't hanging right, your socks are in the wrong drawer."

"Oh, that, no, that was me."

"What did Kaan do then?"

"He quickly grabbed some clothes when I was taken to the hospital. That's all."

"Why now? What have you done? And then you don't even call?"

"You were very clear, you would only be away for one week, not two, so you would be back home soon. I just slipped in the shower, and my wounds opened up, a few stitches broke, that's all."

"And then, of course, you call Kaan."

Her sarcasm is sharp and spiteful, not that he expected anything different. The world doesn't revolve around Lara, Sebastiano's girlfriend, no, she's just his partner for now. Suddenly, she realizes that she won't become his wife, that he has already said goodbye to her.

"You're not leaving me, you stay with me. If you don't, you'll regret it. I'll let everyone know that the role you play, is inspired on you real life, you'll never get another role, no photo will be taken of you to be published, nothing, nada, zip."

She laughs like a little child who has taken a toy away from her friend to play with it herself.

"I can do that. Then you won't have a ticket for the premiere night of the show. I can ask someone else to come with me."

He knows her weaknesses, if Lara is deprived of the chance to be in the spotlight, she turns around like a leaf on a tree.

"That's not so bad, is it? I can take a hit. I was just testing you."

"It's all right. I'll continue reading. Kaan will pick me up at six tomorrow, I have a whole day of shooting."

"I can take you."

"No, no need, just stay here and sleep. You must be tired from your trip."

Seb's sarcasm is audible too. She hasn't been far away, bank statements showed that she was in a luxury hotel less than half an hour's drive from their house. He also knows that she was with someone and at least had dinner together.

"I'll sleep on the couch here, so you won't be disturbed by me."

"Don't you need to shower then?"

"No, I'm starting with exercise and physio, I can shower there. It's more comfortable."

"Is Kaan coming too?"

"Yes, that's right. He's coming too. He's my physio, remember? Or do you forget everything I tell you. If you don't like it, you can leave. You know the way."

His hand points to the front yard where the red car is shining in the street. Her raised corner of the mouth shows that she has no intention of doing that. Somewhere, Seb is relieved, another part of him is disappointed. He knows that another evening without affection awaits. She won't come to him again to throw herself at his feet as in movies. No, their relationship has become quite cold and platonic by now, with his sister, he feels much more warmth and love, which is not strange at all. He briefly thinks about his parents who were initially against him being with Lara. It got better only after a few years. Lara had become kinder to his mother. Until the day she told her that she wanted to move in together on the other side of the country, and since then, he has seen or spoken to his mother only once or twice a year. Of course, not everything is Lara's fault, his job as a model has also contributed significantly to the literal and figurative distance from his parents. He has never been completely dissatisfied with it until he had his accident. Now, he misses his mother above all. Following Lara upstairs with his crutch to pack his bag, he sits on the couch, contemplating home and his youth. It makes him sad rather than delighted.