His Guardian (MxM)

Chapter 27

TW: self harm

Benjamin

"You're nothing but a worthless waste of space, faggot."

"Please... Please, Alpha..." I groaned through the pain. He leaned down, grabbed my chin with bruising force, and made me look into his dark, grey eyes.

"You will never be free of me."

I cried as my mate's father beat me to a bloody pulp, blood coming out in places that I knew meant I was miscarrying.

"No, no, no.." I whispered through my sobs.

"Finally," the Alpha grunted, but his beating didn't stop. He pulled his foot back, and just as his boot connected with my ribs-

I sat up, gasping for air. I couldn't breathe. I still saw him, looming over me. 

I stood from the bed and rushed to the bathroom. After shutting the door, I turned on the light, and saw blood running down my legs, coating them.

"No, no, no, no. This isn't real, this isn't real." I told myself, but still felt like I was underwater. I saw my face red in the mirror from my lack of breathing. The veins in my forehead were bulging as I gasped for air.

The blood wouldn't stop.

It's happening again.

No.

I frantically searched the bathroom until I came across a razor and a metal can of shaving cream. Using the can, I slammed it down on top of the razor, causing the plastic around the blades to shatter.

Still gasping for air and panicking from the blood running down my legs, I grabbed a blade and sat against the tub, frantically searching for reality. For something to stop this nightmare.

I pressed the blade to my wrist and pulled it across, creating a bright red line that began to run with blood. I could breathe a little better with this cut. I made another one. And another one. Before I knew it, I had four to five cuts on each wrist. But the blood that had covered my legs was gone. I could breathe. I was finally back to reality. I threw my head back in relief, until a knocking on the bathroom door had me nearly jumping out of my skin.

"Ben? Are you alright?" Jackson asked from the other side of the door. My heart began to race as I looked down at my wrists, both running crimson.

"Ben." Knock knock knock. "Baby, are you bleeding? I can smell your blood."

I still didn't answer my mate as I frantically searched for something to do.

"Baby? Just let me in, okay?" His tone was beginning to sound more panicked. I had to do something.

"I-I'm fine, Jackson," I croaked out. My voice didn't sound as as strong as I had wanted it to.

"Ben, unlock the door." His voice was more firm now as he worried for me. Tears were pouring down my face as I tried to think of what I could do to hide this from him.

"Ben, if you don't unlock the door, I will open it myself." My eyebrows raised at his threat to break down the door, and I slowly willed myself to crawl to the door, my tears and blood dripping along the way. Weakly, I reached up to the door knob, and unlocked it. As soon as the lock clicked, Jackson rushed in and kneeled beside me, assessing the damage.

"Oh, baby, what happened?" He asked in a tone that told me he was trying not to freak out. He looked around and saw the blades and the broken razor. I didn't have to explain. He knew.

He quickly rushed to a closet in the bathroom and returned with a first aid kit and towels. He set them on the counter. Gently, he pulled me off the floor, and to the sink. He turned the water on and held my arms under the stream. The blood washed down the sink, revealing thin lines across my wrists. They stood out in comparison to my fair skin.

Jackson remained wordless as he dried my arms and quickly covered the cuts with gauze, and wrapped my wrists tightly to stop the bleeding. After he bandaged both of my arms, he looked up at me. I could hardly bare to look into his light grey eyes. I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. I sniffled as tears ran down my cheeks while he held my gaze.

"I'm sorry, Jackson. I had a nightmare, and it all happened so fast, I-"

"Shh, shh." He wiped my tears. "I've got you now. It's okay." Jackson just pulled me into an embrace and held me while I cried.

"There was... blood running down my legs again.. it wouldn't stop, Jackson." I told him in between sobs as my tears soaked his shirt. I heard him sigh as he understood.

"It wasn't real, baby," he told me as he pulled back to wipe my tears once more. "It wasn't real. I'm the Alpha now. Me, your mate. You're safe. No one can hurt you now." His reassurance that the present was, indeed, the present was helpful. I rested my head against his chest as I cried softly, finally beginning to calm down in his arms. He wasn't mad or disappointed. This was a big relief. After my sobs began to quiet down, he spoke again.

"Maybe it was too soon..." I quickly shook my head at his words.

"No. This isn't because of last night. It was just a nightmare. Last night was... amazing."

Jackson kissed the top of my head as he held me close.

"I love you so much, Bennie."

"I love you too, Jackson."