Chapter 10: Don't jeopardize the mission.
"But I'm an immigrant." The words played over in my head about a thousand times before I finally snapped out of the daze as Josephine shoved my body into a closet, "What the hell were you thinking? Are you out of your mind just announcing that you're an immigrant?" Josephine yells at me while I stumble inside as she closes the door behind us, "Everyone knows it! It's so obvious that I'm not from here."
"You're going to jeopardize the mission."
"No, you mean I'm going to jeopardize your mission. I never asked for this. You may be okay with doing this for 'the greater good' but I'm done doing dirty work for them."
"I don't do anyone's dirty work--"
"Oh, please, Josephine. Open your eyes!" I laugh before I continue, "People from Russia, people like me, we don't have a choice. It's all that we know. You hear the word liberate and you celebrate because you're in a country that can afford to, but they hear the word liberate and they suffer because we don't know any better. Nobody wants to fight for a dying country."
It was the first time that I felt anything at all for Russia, it wasn't guilt, hatred, and betrayal but rather a strong urge for raw sympathy. The type that makes you cry and fall silent. Josephine was quiet, she may not agree with everything, but she knew that what I was saying was right, "You know, I never got to see Russia again after we left. I never bothered to care. We got lucky that we made it out, they got lucky that they somehow managed to escape. So, tell me, Josephine, are you willing to look those families in their eyes and tell them they're not welcome simply because it's war? That's the sacrifice that you need to be willing to make for your so-called cause."
"What are you saying?" Josephine asks straining her words giving the effect like she's holding her breath, but I can't look her in the eye when I manage to sigh, "Maybe it's time for me to care."
"Maybe you don't have to. What if there's nothing left?" Josephine retaliates, but I simply ignore it. I have already made up my mind about leaving. It's time for me to find out the truth about predatel, about traitors, "I need to see it for myself." I need to stop pretending that I have fulfilment when I don't even know what happened.
YOU ARE READING
The Fear Between Us
Historical FictionWhy did you to have her name? Why do you have make me wish I wasn't gay? Why do you have begging for a life that's not here? What happens when a women decides to fight in a man's war? Josephine, please, will you ever forgive me?
