The Fear Between Us

Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Speaking to a ghost.

"You sound American." He adds moving closer to me as the dim light illuminates his silhouette more highlighting his beard, tired eyes, and slumped posture. I stay silent following his movements as he sits down on the chair from the kitchen, "Do you still know Russian?"

"Nemnogo."

"Good, that's good."

The conversation doesn't lead anywhere. A part of me tells me to run while the other tells me I'm hallucinating; it couldn't be possible. Pa said he watched him die and yet here he stands somewhat okay and alive. I can tell that he wants to say more but neither of us knows what to say, we're just simply staring at each other's reflection from the other spectrum of what life could have been, "What happened that day? Pa said you died." I finally say breaking the silence that he follows with a sigh, "Too much, too much happened that day and even more happened after that day." He begins as he runs his hand over his face staring into space. I can see all the flashbacks of events playing in through the lens of his cornea. Everything suddenly comes back to him in the swift motion of the weather changing from seasons.

"It was the Wednesday."

"What are you doing? You're going to kill them!"

"I found your father in the server room killing his people like an animal with no mercy."

He came around from the server swinging for me, he had a look in his eye that I had never seen before. He was supposed to rebel! Fight for our brothers but now he is fighting for the so-called great Nikolai.

"Said it was for the greater good, that it was for you. He was sent on a mission to kill all workers that disobeyed Nikolai, our Nikolai."

He was part of the division that sold our secrets to the Americans and now that was all for nothing, how much have we lost already from the freedom of being united?

"That he threatened to kill his family so betrayed us in retaliation."

How many have we mourned in the name of greatness?

"Becoming the predatel he is."

I had to stop him; I had no choice.

"Your father was a traitor, only fought for himself... I had to stop him."

Mikhail finished with something but a void empty feeling. What was it that Pa always said? Trust no one. Stories told by someone feeling them in a theatrical state of mind mean it's fake. There was something just so beautifully scripted about his story... "What happened then? How did Pa get away?"

"I-- I don't know, it's been so long katyónak I can't remember." Something so theatrical indeed, "Is this why I can't mention Aleekseeva?"

"Yes." The room went silent again, I placed the note away getting his attention, "What did you have in your hand?"

"It's nothing, it's just a note."

"A note from who?"

"From the pilot who brought me here, I asked him to give me an address to this place, I forgot how to get here." I lied I know, but can you blame me? It's been so long. Uncle Mikhail and I have had two completely different experiences. His is a life of survival, mine is a struggle of lies on a thin thread of trauma, "Why did you come back katyónak?" He asks getting straight to the point. Suddenly my heart begins racing as if I'm being interrogated for a crime I didn't commit, "To find the truth."