The Fear Between Us

Chapter 15

Chapter 15: The archive.

Nikolskaya Street 15, Moscow Russia, 109012. Nothing was coming back to me, and my memory was slowly failing me, I had no idea why this place was so significant in the slightest. I keep thinking, what is wrong with me? Why is something so worth dying for not coming back to me? I get it, it's unrealistic of me to expect myself to remember everything in this life. But why now? Why is this one thing that I so desperately need?

Eight days later

I keep my pace steady making my way towards the telephone booth, as I pull out a little note from my pocket and dial the number slowly so that I don't spin the wheel too far, muttering to myself that this is probably a bad idea. The wait for the ringing was long, almost exasperating enough to make me want to hang up before the voice on the other end gently spoke, "H-Hello?" For a moment I forgot how to speak as I simply stared into space before they spoke again, "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"J-Jo?" I choke clearing my throat, "Oh my God... Tara, is that you?"

"Yeah, yeah it is," I reply smiling. Hearing her voice was like heaven on earth, "Where the hell have you been? It's been two and a half weeks Tara! I thought that yo- I thought you died..." Jo paused abruptly filling the air surrounding me with guilt, "I'm sorry, Jo," I sighed, "it hasn't exactly been the easiest living here... I just." I pause again gathering my thoughts, "I just wanted to hear your voice again." I say leaning forward against the phone booth glass. Jo doesn't respond immediately but she also doesn't take her time, "Right, I'm sorry. I've just been so worried. Are you okay? Can you come back soon?" I could hear the emotional weight within her words, "No, I can't... But I'm close though."

"At least it's better than nothing, right?" She queries. I want to tell her the truth. I want to say that I don't think I'll make it back after this... but I can't... I can only give her hope, "Listen, Jo... There's something that I need you to do something for me."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Look into Mikhail Volkov for me."

"Who is he?"

"Nobody too important... but just be discreet, okay? I need to go."

"Tara I--" she states just before the phone hangs up from the timer and I'm left on the other side with so much more to say but no time to say it all, "Tara, you ready?" asks Mikhail as he approaches making me dangle the phone again as I follow him down the streets towards the car.

Eight days ago

I might remember simple phrases in Russian but my memory for places was slipping away, why couldn't I remember this place? I could just call Jo and ask her to search the address for me but that was too risky... I could ask someone on the street for directions but what if it had something to specifically do with Pa? Then all of this would be short-lived and for nothing. No, there was only one person I could ask for help... The one person I wanted nothing to do with this in the first place, "I need your help." I say hoarsely swallowing my pride, "Are you finally done avoiding me?"

"Are you going to help me or not?" I retaliate as he scoffs, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Nikolskaya Street 15. Where is it?"

"Why?"

"Answer the question." I press as he sighs, "It's a library in town. It's guarded, you need clearance to get in which only a selective few have."

"Do you have it?"

"No, but I know how to get it."

"Good, then you'll get in."

"I will do no such thing!"

"Well, it's not exactly like I can. Even with my Russian, they'd know I'm not from here."

"And what if they find out that I'm an associate of an Aleekseeva? What then?"

"Will you give it a rest, Mikhail? I'm not asking you to be my family, I'm asking you to be a man."

Present day

Mikhail got the clearance he needed to get into the library while I stayed behind as watch, "That is my entrance point there. We'll be going in rush hour, that way they won't mind me at all. I'll get your document and then get out then we leave and never return." Mikhail tells me half haphazardly as he rushes through his sentences while tripping over his words as he places in his comm I made for us back at home, "What was it that you wanted again?"

"10th June 1917: The Archive." Just as he was about to leave, I grabbed his arm pulling him back, "No matter what, bring me back that document." I say staring him down to make him understand, "Don't worry, katyónak, I will." Despite his gentle easy words, the atmosphere is still stiff and frozen even after he leaves.

Something kept nudging me, telling me that this was a mistake, that I needed to run but I was stubborn enough to ignore all the warning signs that were so obvious. I needed that document; this was the defying moment. I had my radio ready placed on Josephine's station as I watched Mikhail's every move from when he entered, to when he walked in avoiding the officers on duty, to looking for the archive. It took him almost an hour, "C'mon Mikhail, leave the officers alone and get the damn archive." I was growing increasingly impatient with him as he hurried among the officials. Eventually, he gave up and began looking through the shelves which took another thirty minutes before he finally pulled out an archive slowly staring at it in disbelief as he so faintly whispered, "Operatsiya Stervyatnik." Underneath his breath, he quickly hid the archive not taking out my document as two officers dragged him quietly, by the time I realized what was happening the trucks were already approaching my position before I hurriedly said the name to the set frequency hoping that by some miracle it wasn't rushed or indistinguishable before being knocked out forcing my world to turn to black with two officers dragging my weightless body away.