The Fear Between Us

Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Time to say goodbye.

I never meant for it to end like this, when I said I loved Jo, I meant it, but it was clear that our worlds were drifting apart. Jo had been avoiding me, almost as if she had been pondering the question even though she already answered it, "Of course I still love you! What type of question is that?"

"Then tell me why you have been so agitated lately. Why have you been so obsessed with me going back to the way things were? Do you think I want to stay like this? I never asked to turn out like this, Jo."

"And what about me? I had to watch you die, Tara! You promised me, remember? You promised me that you wouldn't die! Before you left, I said promise you won't die and you said okay, so why did you do it? Answer me, Tara! Why did y—you do it?"

"I don't know, Jo! I don't know." I said louder than expected with tears now streaming down my face, "I—I can't do this anymore." Jo responds grabbing her jacket and walking out of the room not once looking at me as I hold her arm with her halfway out the door, "Jo, where are you going? Are you just going to leave?" But all I got was another, "I can't do this anymore..." Before she was gone.

But Jo wasn't the only one to blame here, I had forgotten who the enemy was as Jo slowly started to seep through the cracks of my reality. Soon after that, news of the general's death had come through. I hate to admit it, but even though there was a certain security now lingering in the air I also felt an odd feeling of sadness. Almost as if I were mourning his death, not that mattered, it never did quite erase the memories. After this announcement Jo had only grown more resentful towards me, insinuating that she believed I had something to do with this, even though I wish I did. Now that I think about it, he seemed different the last day he was here. There was a type of horror hanging on his face. He had that same look of fear I did on the day I believed I was going to die; he had the look of a man frightened for his life. Maybe it was in my mind or maybe it had something to do with Mikhail tying off loose ends. I could only imagine how poor old dearest uncle would have reacted once he discovered I was alive and worse off, once he discovered that the general himself had been paying me some visits during this recovery.

"I need you to be honest with me. Was it you?" I asked her as she sipped slowly on her tea, the psychiatrist was a kind gentle woman, yet she had a certain fire to her I couldn't explain, "No, I didn't kill him." She said staring me down. Her eyes filled with fire and yet they still seemed to calm me down. Despite the circumstances, I have come to know the psychiatrist well, so I sighed at her answer. Whether it was a sigh of relief or disappointment, I wasn't sure.

There was only one possible answer remaining. Although Josephine Rosewood wouldn't understand my actions now, within the time she'll grow to learn why I did what I did and why I had to do it. Right now, she might only see it as some sort of petty personal vendetta, but it was more than that. This is about my life, my freedom, my mind. And although right now all I can give her is some flimsy goodbye, when you see me again, I'll be different. I'll be stronger, this is where our paths diverge. Our destinies might not have been intertwined in this life, but I will come to find you. I promise I'll find you again when the name Mikhail Volkov is no longer heard of.