The Fear Between Us

Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Alexei Aleekseeva.

I've been quiet for too long; I know that I have to say something, but what do you even say to that? About my father? What is that even supposed to mean?

I want to say something smart or ask something worthwhile but instead, my stupid brain decides to say, "You knew my father?" I can feel my heart clench, but I can't tell if it's for the lump forming in my throat or, the absolute sheer embarrassment I felt by asking that question, "Well no, not exactly..." Rosewood responds, almost relieving the feeling in my chest, but some of it still lingers behind. She goes silent for a moment, I know she's reading me to formulate a next response, but I ignore her and walk over towards the bed, "I want to ask what about him is this about, but I suppose that's also on a need-to-basis." I finally respond after sitting down, now leaning one arm on my thigh making my hand dangle off the edge while the other supports my posture on my other leg. I look down as I hear Rosewood approach the bed then feel the weight shift a little as she sits, "I can't tell you specifics. But I have reason to believe that your dad was working against the Russians and that's why he insisted on moving here... However, something went wrong." Josephine sighs almost as if this information has been weighing her down, "What do you mean by working against the Russians? Like he was a traitor?" Predatel, I shake my head before finally looking at her, "This is why I can't tell you anything because I don't know the specifics—"

"Because you weren't there." I say slowly realizing what these sessions have been about this whole time, "You're using me?" I finally ask staring at her as Rosewood goes quiet staring back at me, "What, no! What makes you say that?"

"You've known this entire time who I was, you just need me for specifics. Are you serious, right now?" Predatel, "Tara, I swear it's nothing like that. I need you to remember but not for the reasons that you're thinking of." Rosewood defends herself as she stands before me again, "Oh, and I suppose that's also something that I can't know?"

"Tara, I need you to understand the less you know the better."

"The better for who, Josephine? For me? How does any of this benefit me, you're asking me to re-live moments that I have already lived I can't—" For a moment I pause to catch my breath while her eyes still burn deep into my soul, "I can't keep doing this if you're not going to be entirely honest." The clench on my heart returns, but it's tighter, firmer this time. I look at Josephine who now has a different look to her. Her eyes don't have that fire in them, and her features seem softer. I want to kick her out, I want her to leave but each time I try to speak the lump in my throat forms. I begin to breathe slower trying to concentrate on the ground, "I—I don't work for the army." Josephine finally breaks the silence making me look down at her, she's closer than before this time making that hot flush happen again which distracts me long enough to forget about the lump in my throat, "I work for a secret organization which is, at the moment, specializing in the disappearance of your parents."

"But they didn't disappear, they died."

"We know that." Josephine takes a moment to gather her thoughts before she continues, "We have reason to believe that your father's factory made weapons for the US Army during the Cold War. And we think he did this to secure refuge here, but something went wrong." She concludes by allowing for silence to fill in, giving me time to let everything sink in, "What makes you believe this?" I eventually ask which makes Josephine smack her lips together, "You," is all she says before she sits down again, "You made us believe this because you're the last Aleekseeva standing."

"But how would that conclude anything?"

"Well, let's say it was the US government that gave you the honour of having trauma, kidnapping your parents wouldn't make sense because they are adults and Josephine would've been no help because she didn't understand Russian, and she wasn't their kid so that just leaves you. They would want you because maybe your dad probably spoke about it, but when the torture methods didn't work, they instead decided to brainwash you, you had already done that to yourself because seeing her die was already so traumatic that it didn't matter. They just couldn't remind you of any of it. Hence why nobody here says your name, because if the general doesn't do it, then why should they."

It made more sense than thugs because thugs had no business being in that area or with a little teenage girl. Josephine had a point, and if she was saying was right, then everything I have known up until now has been built up on nothing but speculation, lies, and exaggeration. That's also probably why the general insists it was a ship because saying a plane was too risky in recalling my memories, "So, why now? Why only ask me this now?"

"I needed to be sure that you were Alexei's daughter first, otherwise all of this would have been for nothing." Josephine says as a feeling of disappointment floods me, "Right," I say before clearing my throat, "So, that's why they need me to remember, right? But why do you need me too?" I ask as a glisten in Josephine's eyes changes for a moment, "Am I not allowed to look out for my sergeant?" She asks lowly with a smile playing on her lips distracting me from what I have asked. Hours have passed by and neither of us has noticed, the yellow light is bright enough for me to see her expressions, almost like it's the morning sun haze shining over us, her lips are full, and her body is hot. I didn't notice how close we were until now. She's lying down on one side leaning against her arm to tilt up her head as I lean facing her, it's the perfect angle for me to place my hand on her waist and kiss her lips, "You know what I mean." I say through a smile that won't seem to go away, and she doesn't break the eye contact. The hot flush from earlier turns into a pulling sensation this time, a feeling that makes me want to kiss her, a feeling that makes me forget that she is my captain.

"No, I don't think I do." She says sitting up which moves her closer. For a second I think that maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all but I shake those thoughts as she gets up fetching her jacket from the floor and putting it on, she slowly walks towards the door before looking back almost as if she's asking me to tell her to stay, I stand up and follow her to the door, just as she's about to open it I place my hand on the handle forcing her to turn around, my breathing is steady but hot with my face being low to reach her level, "You don't have to leave," I say in a low tone now looking her in her eyes seeing that same glisten I did before, "it's already late, might as well stay." I finish as Rosewood smiles which makes me put my hand on her waist making her look down amused yet satisfied, "If I stay, we'd be doing things we both might regret, Tara." She responds in the same tone and mood as mine. Hearing her say my name like that makes me push her slightly against the wall still keeping my hand on her waist glancing slowly to her lips and then eyes again, "What if it's something we both want?"