A SKY FULL OF STARS

chapter six, linger

Gerard Gibson was having a particularly hard practice, his drills were messy, and all of his teammates were yelling at him.

He took off his helmet and threw it on the ground, storming off the field.

He had every intention of just going home until he saw Lyla exiting the school. He wanted her so bad, but he knew he couldn't have her.

So he decided to channel his rage into another girl, Claire Biggs. Which was why he was stuck in an awkward position, making out with a girl he barely even liked.

She kissed him again, but he backed up with a sigh.

"Look i'm sorry but I can't do this." Gibsie turned away from Claire, "I like someone else."

"You're an asshole." Claire said quietly while brushing past him, knocking her shoulder onto his.

Gibsie sat alone on a bench in the locker room, trying to process his newfound feelings for Lyla.

He didn't know what to make of them, other then the fact that he knew he wouldn't be able to tell her.

Gibsie had a certain flaw when it came to relationships. He got attached, quickly. And when they would leave him, as they always did, he would be crushed.

Gibsie threw on crewneck an over his bare chest, while grabbing his rugby bag and storming out of the locker room.

"Gibsie?" A small voice asked from behind him. He groaned and snapped his head back to glare, he faltered realizing who it was.

Lyla seemed taken aback, "S-sorry I just — you seemed upset."

Gibsie shook his head, "Sorry Lynch, I wasn't trying to be rude."

Lyla shuddered at the gruff voice he was using, "Are you alright?"

Gibsie shrugged, looking detached. He was trying to make Lyla leave him alone, when in reality, all he wanted was to kiss her.

Lyla nodded seeming sullen, she went to brush past him.

"Wait Lyla." Gibsie said softly grabbing her hand to stop her, "I'm sorry."

Lyla turned her head around, glancing up at him uncertain. "You don't have to apologize, I didn't mean to bother you."

Gibsie dropped her hand with a regretful look, he brought his hand up and rubbed it across his face in frustration, "I've just had a bad day is all."

"Oh. What happened?" Lyla peered up at him.

He shook his head, "Nothing. Doesn't matter."

"Okay." Lyla said quietly, chewing on her lip.

"I'm gonna go now." Lyla said giving him a small smile but she seemed distant, like she was afraid of making him mad.

"What? No don't go. I'll take you home." Gibsie shook his head pulling her back.

"You know you can't just grab me like a doll right?" Lyla's voice rose, she seemed annoyed with how he was acting.

Gibsie was startled from how she had spoken, but she didn't blame him. "I didn't." His voice said defensively, "I just wanted to do something nice."

"Yeah well why don't you stop being 'nice'!" Lyla grew angry and began to walk away.

Gibsie quickly caught up with her, "And what is that supposed to mean?" He seemed annoyed now too.

"Nothing." Lyla said scoffing, "Just leave it."

Gibsie scoffed back, "Quit acting like that. Tell me."

"One minute you want to hang out with me, the next you act like I'm some girl who is obsessed with you!" Lyla cried out.

"Yeah well it seems like you are just some girl who's obsessed with me!" Gibsie shot back, scowling.

The moment the words flew out of his mouth, he knew he shouldn't have said it. Lyla was so much more than just some girl obsessed with him. If anything, he was the one obsessed with her.

"Asshole!" Lyla shoved past him.

And then Gibsie realized, maybe he was the problem. Just in that one day, two girls had both called him the same word.

Asshole.

Gibsie drove home that night worried about Lyla, he knew he had no right to worry. But after their argument he couldn't find her anywhere, he assumed that Lyla had rode the bus, which didn't ease his worry one bit.

He slammed his car door once he arrived home, and then he slammed his house door, thanking the lord his Ma wasn't home.

He stormed up his stairs angrily, shoving his bag to the floor, walking to his dresser. He pulled out a smoke, and sat on his balcony.

He thought of Lyla, and how badly he wanted to see her. He wanted to apologize, to pour his heart out to her, but he just couldn't.

He inhaled the smoke desperately, throwing the bud out his window.

Gibsie thought of his family, the little he had left. His baby sister and father had died when he was around nine years old. The pain was constant, his mind ached everyday without them.

He realized the short time he had spent with Lyla had numbed that pain, she made him forget about everything. It was so nice, she was like a vacation from it all.

Gibsie also knew that Lyla didn't need to have that burden on her. He couldn't  afford to rely on her. Gibsie sat in his now dark room, replaying his conversation with Lyla.

"Honey?" A quiet voice spoke from the other side of his door. It was his ma.

"Yeah Mam?" Gibsie called back, airing the smoke out of his room.

His ma opened the door, sitting down next to him on his bed.

"You okay baby?" His ma asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

Gibsie shook his head, "I miss them ma."

His mom kissed his head and rubbed his back, "Oh Gerard."

Gibsie felt a single tear fall from his eyes, but quickly wiped it, embarrassed.

His mam sat with him, until Gibsie fell into a deep sleep, his face dried with tears.