Of x Faded x Memories

Of x Faded x Memories - A x Change

After the events of the chimera ant war and the saving of his best friend, killua felt that he was more than ready to take a break for a while. He definitely deserved it, but he couldn't shake off the feeling of his ineptitude to save Gon. He could recall the events of the war, as he liked to call it, and the crying of the burly man quite clearly. Those events still rang in his head like a neverending echo that kept on recoiling back into his head no matter how hard he tried to drown them out. Even if he knew what his goal was now, protecting Alluka and seeing the world with her, he felt like he lost purpose staring at Gon's wilted hands. He was over the memory now though(mostly) so he tried his best to take care of his little sister.

Soon after his and his sister's departure from the world tree, he went out traveling with her, as per her request. He realized soon though that this wasn't an amazing idea. Not that his sister was incapable or anything but she wrecked havoc wherever she went. It's not that he didn't enjoy it either, it's just that having to explain the situation each time and apologize was not exactly ideal for him. He forgave her each time she did something of course, but he was still getting mad at her shenanigans and became more and more irritated as time went on. Soon enough he felt as if he almost felt like he had to clean up every mess for her so he decided he wanted something to change.

He walked into the bedroom of the rented house he and Alluka stayed at. He spotted her long dark hair sitting on the floor looking up to the tv that was inconveniently situated far away from the bed. He walked over to the remote that was situated on a nightstand to the right of their bed and turned the tv off. Alluka cocked her head at the sudden static and eventual darkness of the tv. Her head jerked up in a quick motion and her head span towards him. "What was that for?!" she asked with slight irritation in her voice. Her bright blue eyes almost protruded farther than they should be able to. "We need to talk about something" her eyebrows returned to their normal position and had a questioning look spreading across her face. "Ok, Alluka," said the silver-haired boy, his eyebrows jerking upwards at uneven intervals. "You keep getting yourself into trouble" he observed that she started to realize where this was going when her eyes started to droop. "And even after I taught you how to fight" somewhat, he wasn't fully going to teach her nen or complete fighting skills, he just wanted her to know enough so that she wouldn't be defenseless. "You're still getting into dangerous situations, and honestly, it's stressing me out more than it should." After a brief moment of silence she interjected "how about you take a break for a while". He opened one of his eyes out of curiosity at the thought of taking a break "and what exactly would that entail?". She didn't think a moment before speaking "that request earlier, you know the one". He wasn't sure what to think for a moment but quickly said "what about you?". Her face almost turned into one of pout before she spoke "Brother you know I can defend myself now!" not entirely he thought with a scowl. He didn't dare say it out loud though.

He considered the idea in his head, To meet Gon again huh. It wasn't a bad idea by any means but he was almost traumatized by it. The shriveled hands of his best friend never left his mind. The words since it means nothing to you were automatically associated with the shriveled hands as were the words you have it easy. He didn't think negatively about the words or the person who spoke them to him, instead he beat himself up about it. He ultimately pushed the whole blame of the kite situation onto himself and it didn't have the best effect on his relationship with gon. Any mention of him and Killua became almost like his old self. He lost personality for the few moments he was mentioned. He should've gotten over it by now but he just couldn't erase the image from his mind no matter how hard he tried to. He cursed himself under this weakness of his and his lip twitched. Maybe if I were to approach him and learn to forget about all of it this silly little weakness of mine would disappear. He pondered it wondering about the logistics of it. He would probably have to let Gon know about it, otherwise he wouldn't be able to help him get it out of his system. He let out a sigh, not of relief but of one gon would probably make. One that told him it was time to stop thinking for a while. Even if it was a similar sigh It wasn't the same as one gon would make, it was one of certainty. He had already decided what he should do.