PAPARAZZI!1!1! (NOCO) {REWRITING.}

SIXTEEN, NOAH: Texts, Calls, Memories

Love Song - Jack Off Jill (SPECIFICALLY THE JOJ VERSION.)

I set my phone down on the sticky 90's diner table. Everyone around me was chatting away as usual. I couldn't quite pick up on what they were even saying due to the fact my brain had been so scattered lately.

It was quiet, but loud. The loudness was mostly in my head. Trent was talking to everyone, but not loud enough to keep me so overwhelmed.
My brain has been scattered for the past few days. Us traveling all the time making it obviously worse. Trent hardly had me doing my job because I was so obviously stressed.

I don't know how to feel. Happy? Sad? I feel nothing. Like how you feel when your parents don't get you anything special for Christmas, but they still give you something. You can't be mad at something.

Emma keeps calling, texting, trying to get my attention. I didn't expect her to care this much.

It feels nice though. Knowing someone out there cares enough to keep texting and calling at any free moment. It feels like I'm needed by someone.
I looked up at the others. Watching Cody make hand gestures as he spoke whatever nonsense he was speaking.

He was more expressive when he spoke to them. They had gotten close over all of the years. They had it good.

Cody looked at me, seeing that I was obviously staring. I was always staring. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to stare. It was like something made me stare at him. His long sleeve yellow shirt, rolled up to sit halfway on her arm.

The lighter yellow stripes to complement the darker ones. The fact that he always wore layers, even in the summer. Which.. I do too, can't blame him.

I need to stop.
I looked away from Cody, away from everyone.
We go home in a week. I'm stuck here with them for a week. I have nothing to do except exist. I should've gotten a normal job.

"Tonight we're going to walk the town. Check out some American malls and such." Trent said, holding a glass. He smiled to us all. Finally something that caught my attention.

Harold groaned. He was lazy. But honestly, I agree with that groan. I don't want to go or be anywhere right now. I want to be home, and not at Cody's house either.

My house, with my family. People I will forever be perfect to.

. . .

I thought I was over her. I thought she was more than just over me, I thought she moved on. She seemed like she wasn't just having a sex affair, but a love affair. Sure, she attempted to convince me, but she was so quick to blame me and run over to that woman.

The way she played with her hair and caressed her waist looked like more than just lust. Like they had been seeing each other, this wasn't just a hookup.

Though, at the same time. I could've just overreacted.
Wouldn't be the first time. She makes me feel a lot of emotions. Both good and bad.
Well, she hadn't more recently. She lost that passion. At least I thought.

Maybe I was wrong. She seems like she really wants to see me now. She's been texting and calling me nonstop.

Maybe I'll go talk to her when I get home.
Maybe we can rekindle the love I thrived for, the love that lasted only months. Sometimes relationships need a break. She could've just.. needed to view her options for a moment.

That's not terrible, right? Perhaps I wouldn't know. I've never been a sucker for romance.
Until I met her. She was my dream girl. A girl with a dream for success. She's brave and confident. Everything I like in a girl.
She's amazing.
I should be lucky someone like her is giving me another chance.

My thoughts consumed my mind. This isn't something that usually happened to me. What took me out of it was the feeling of Cody's warm hand sitting on top of mine.

My hand had been sat on the cold, red leather seats of the diner. I hadn't realized how cool they were until the warmth of his hand rested on top of mine.
His warmth felt comforting. In a world of coldness, he still gives warmth.

Maybe if he were a girl. If I could show him off and make my family proud.
I'd love to be with a girl like Cody.

"You alright?" Cody asked me, leaning his head over. Trying to make his confusion apparent. Along with his worry.
He asked at the perfect moment. When Trent, Harold and Justin were talking on their own. Keeping his spotlight on me, but not everyone's.

I gave him a nod, slowly pulling my hand away from underneath his. The cold air creeping back onto it. I wanted to put his hand back on mine immediately. But that isn't right. So I put my hand in my pocket, trying to find a warmth that wasn't quite there.

. . .