"I want to know why you do it."
"Why I do what." he asked, stripping off his overcoat.
He flung it over the back of the couch without much thought as he began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Why you always save me. Every time I'm in trouble you always come...
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I didn't even know how I ended up here. It was late and I didn't even expect anyone else to be up, but I needed someone. I needed comfort. While I could have gone back to my room and curled up with my mom, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I didn't think I'd be capable of much more than just crying. I barely managed to hold the tears off long enough to find my way here. After picking up the shattered pieces of my heart off the floor. I couldn't stay there, not when Seonghwa didn't want me anywhere near him.
Maybe it was selfish of me to be seeking comfort from one of the others. Maybe it was wrong to expect one of them to put me back together right now. However, I didn't know what else to do. Didn't know where else to go. I was worried if I remained alone I'd never be able to pull myself out of it. My deepening sorrow and fear intertwined, dragging me through the trenches so deep, I wouldn't be able to escape later. I knocked, my knuckles barely rapping against the wood. I didn't know if it was enough for anyone to hear, let alone wake them from sleep.
I couldn't manage much more though, I felt so broken. The dried tear tracks on my face sapping any warmth that may have lingered in my cheeks. My sniffling loud in the quiet hall, hiccups even worse. I was seconds away from breaking down again. Suddenly, the knob in front of me turned. The door swinging open to reveal a disheveled Jongho. His fiery red hair a mess on top of his head, hand sweeping over his face tiredly. He had been asleep. My knock, or maybe my crying, having woken him. He didn't even take the time to dress himself properly. His bare chest on display and a pair of loose pants slung low on his hips.
"Y/N?"
He looked surprised that it was me. On full alert noticing the tears that had begun overflowing again, just at the sight of him. I whimpered pitifully, hating how weak I sounded as I flung myself against him. He caught me easily, arms coming around me, cradling me gently, albeit a bit awkwardly. Much like he had the first time he had seen me crying.
"Are you okay? What happened?"
I tightened my hold on him, burying my face into him further, not caring that he was hardly dressed to manage me in my condition. I appreciated the warmth of him. He sighed, laying his chin on top of my head while tangling his fingers in my hair.
"Can you at least tell me that you're not hurt?"
"I'm not." I whispered. "At least not physically."
He stiffened at that. I could almost hear the wheels in his head turning as we stood in the threshold to his room. He leaned down a little more, his nose brushing against my hair.
"Seonghwa." He grumbled, holding me tighter.
Just the sound of his name reduced me to tears. My crying was muffled by Jongho, as he let me use him. He tugged me with him, just enough to pull us out of the doorway and into his room, the sound of the door clicking shut behind me barely registering. I didn't care though. The way Jongho held me made me feel safe, secure. I knew he'd take care of me, even as my poorly taped heart fell to pieces again in front of him. The knowledge that he was one of my bonded and still cared enough to hold me while I cried over one of his brothers made the guilt even worse.
