smoking kills - klaus hargreeves | the umbrella academy

chapter three

marie waited for a second, but didn't get a response. ben only looked at her curiously, while klaus and five continued to hurl insults anywhere from "squid brain!" to "shit face!" at each other. marie decided to take it as her cue to leave.

"wait!" klaus shouted as he saw marie walking away. "wait, marie! come back!"

she turned back to face him and the other two boys. five smacked klaus in the face again, to which klaus immediately forgot about marie leaving, and shouted "FUCKER!" while hitting five back.

"for the love of god can you guys cut it out?!" ben dragged a hand over his face. he groaned again, then turned to marie. "you know what, i'm sorry, marie. just advert your eyes for a second."

marie, confused on what he was going to do, foolishly kept her eyes trained on him for a few seconds longer. he ripped open his shirt and horrifying, monster-like tentacles burst out of his torso. the tentacles wrapped around klaus and five, pulling them apart. klaus screamed, five shouted some more swear words.

marie was too stunned to even say anything.

"now can you two calm down so we can explain to marie what's going before she calls the cops on us?" ben's voice had a certain stern quality to it, fed up with klaus and five's arguing.

the air was quiet for a moment, then klaus sheepishly agreed. five muttered, "fine. just put me down, you fucking octopus."

ben simply dropped five, payback for the comment. five blinked in midair before he hit the ground, reappearing on the balcony next to ben, an annoyed look on his face. ben gently let klaus back down onto the balcony. klaus curtseyed and said politely, "thank you, ben."

ben simply nodded. "now explain, please."

five took the lead, turning to marie with his sarcastic grin. "so, have you guessed it?"

at this point, marie had made her way back to her original spot, standing across and under them. "i don't fucking know what i'm supposed to be guessing here. so far, all i've seen is a probably radioactive disappearing act, and a tentacle-ridden creep. in fact, he's probably radioactive, too. i don't know how the hell else to explain this."

"we're not comic book characters. we're not radioactive," five said.

"we might as well be," ben said.

"ooo, wouldn't that be fun!" klaus grinned.

five rolled his eyes and finally started to explain. "we have powers. we always have had them. we don't really know why. we were all born on the same day at the same time, and our father adopted us seven to train us. since we're young, we don't have the best handle on the powers, but you can see already that we're pretty powerful for being essentially middle schoolers. we're the umbrella academy."

klaus nodded seriously. ben gave a small smile. marie looked at them, dumbfounded. her words burst out of her before she could stop herself. "what kind of weird fucking school— you know what? maybe you all are just fucking crazy. maybe im the crazy one. what the fuck? hold up. powers? for real? there's seven of you. you know what— actually, no. what?"

they all stared at her in response. an awkward silence settled over the group. she decided to fix her previous word vomit statement. "okay. sorry. this is just a lot to wrap my head around. klaus, if you all have powers, what's yours?"

"i can see the dead," he said.

she laughed. "so five gets teleportation, and ben gets a fucking monster in his stomach, and you just see ghosts?"

klaus pursed his lips. "yeah, i really got the short end of the stick with that one."

"and you guys are a school. the umbrella academy." she looked between all of them.

"yep," ben said. the other two nodded.

"okay," marie said slowly. "so. hm. okay, you know what? i need some time to think. how about this: i'll come back in a few days. or maybe i won't. i don't know if i want to be around you psychos. but if i decide that you guys aren't really that much of a threat to my personal well-being, i'll be back. i just.. need to think, first."

the three boys look between each other. ben said, "i think that's fair. i would probably be freaked out, too."

"i've seen freakier stuff," klaus said, a flirtatious tone in his voice. "you would be surprised what shows up in certain magazines."

ben squinted his eyes at klaus. "dude, shut up."

klaus raised his hands in fake surrender. "i'm just saying."

"i'm not freaked out," marie said, defensively. "i just need to think."

"there's not much to actually think about, but if we're done here, i'd like to get some actual sleep." five gave klaus a pointed look.

"i, for one, think you all are in too much of a hurry, but i'll let it go this time. i'll be waiting for you, marie." klaus winked at her.

she put on her best disgusted face. "okay, buddy." she turned to the other two boys. "nice meeting you, ben, five. see you around."

"back at you. see you around," ben replied as five gave a slight nod in her direction.

marie walked off. klaus shouted, "bye!" then the three boys were left.

"well, i'm finally going to sleep. goodnight, idiots," five said, then blinked away.

"do you think she'll come back?" ben asked klaus.

"of course she will! she can't get enough of me." klaus grinned.

"i don't know about that. she seemed to think that your power was pretty lame. my and five's powers scared her. she might not come back," ben said. "i just don't want you to be disappointed if she ends up never returning."

klaus scoffed. "have some trust! in both me and her! she'll come back."

"i can try." ben sighed. "goodnight, klaus."

"goodnight," klaus replied. ben climbed back inside through the window, leaving klaus alone with his thoughts. he put his cigarette to his lips, inhaling the smoke. he blew it up into the air, letting the addictive chemicals calm him down. surely marie would come back, right?