smoking kills - klaus hargreeves | the umbrella academy

chapter twelve

"you told luther?" five said. "i thought you were one of the few in this idiotic family to have any brains, but i guess not."

diego scoffed as klaus whined, "aw, we're not gonna have any fun, now, allison."

luther crossed his arms. "i'm standing right here, guys."

klaus, five, luther, diego, and allison were gathered in klaus's room on the night of their thirteenth birthday, waiting for marie to show up. allison raised her hands defensively. "i didn't do anything wrong. i just wanted luther to celebrate his birthday and meet marie."

diego said, "and now we don't get to celebrate ours."

"for the record, i think this is a stupid idea," luther said.

"yeah, we get it, luther. you're a buzzkill and you never break any rules because you're daddy's number one," klaus said.

five rolled his eyes. "if it's a stupid idea, why are you coming with us?"

"because i need to make sure you guys don't do anything dumb," luther said. "and make sure that marie isn't some psycho."

"marie's not a psycho!" klaus said.

"also," allison added, "it'll be fun."

"not with luther watching our every move," diego said.

"can you shut it, diego? i was essentially dragged into this against my will," luther said.

"great. that means you won't have any problem letting us do what we want for once, right?" diego said sarcastically.

"within reason," luther said. he glanced at klaus, who had started to roll up a joint. luther smacked it out of his hand. "for example: stupid. not within reason."

"hey!" klaus said. "that's so wasteful. you have no idea."

"it's his birthday. let him ruin his life if he wants to, luther," five said absentmindedly as he gazed out the window.

"it's hardly 'ruining my life,' you overdramatic asshole," klaus muttered.

"there's no reason to put shit like that in your lungs, klaus," diego said.

"oh, so you can tell him not to smoke but i can't?" luther said.

"i didn't say that." diego stared at him. "i'm just saying you always try to control us and make us follow all the stupid rules and be perfect like you, but that's not what we want today, alright? i'm not in charge of klaus—"

"thank you," klaus said politely.

diego continued, ignoring klaus, "—but i can advise him not to do stupid shit. you try to control us. it's different."

"well thank goodness luther's not trying to control anyone or be in charge today, right?" allison gave luther a pointed look. "i'd hate for our birthday celebration to turn into fighting."

"yeah, yeah, whatever," luther muttered.

five blinked out of the room. klaus, who was right next to him and thoroughly not paying attention, jumped. "goddamn!"

allison sighed. "where did he go?"

diego leaned to look outside. five stood next to marie, waving up at him and smiling smugly. he rolled his eyes. "outside. come on, our birthday celebration is starting, everyone."

marie stuffed her hands in her pockets. the weather was starting to get a little bit too cold to be walking around late at night, but marie decided that sometimes it was worth it. as she approached the alley and looked up at klaus's window, she saw five staring at her. he blinked and reappeared next to her as soon as they made eye contact.