smoking kills - klaus hargreeves | the umbrella academy

chapter eleven

"so how was your first time getting drunk?" allison asked.

marie and klaus sat on klaus's bed, as they often did on late nights. this night, allison and ben joined them in klaus's room. ben said, "i still can't believe you guys did that."

klaus laughed at ben's innocence. marie answered, "i don't know. it was fun, i guess. there wasn't much to it."

"i don't know if i believe that," ben said.

"yeah, i don't know if you remember but diego told me that you and klaus were dancing like crazy people when he walked in," allison said.

klaus added, "not to mention calling me—"

marie shoved him, her face turning slightly red. "can you shut up about that? i was drunk and doing stupid shit."

"like dancing with klaus?" ben said.

"exactly. i'd kill myself before i did that sober."

"i guess it'd be fate! two lovers from two different walks of life, forced to be apart. the pressure and the—the passion, all too much to handle! my lover kills herself, and me, my humble soul, despaired by her absence, forced to kill myself as well." klaus gestured dramatically with his hands. he closed off his monologue with a somber look. "because if we can't be together in life, we shall meet each other up in heaven."

"like you'd go to heaven," marie snorted.

"okay, last time i checked, you weren't so crystal clean either," klaus shot back.

"we'll see each other in hell, then," marie said.

"so you admit that we're lovers?" klaus grinned.

"no," marie spat. "bitch."

ben laughed. klaus stuck out his tongue at her.

"um," allison cut in, "anyway. ignoring all of... that... why did you guys decide to drink anyway? i thought you were strictly sober, marie."

"it was her birthday!" klaus answered for her. "we had to do something special."

"oh, happy birthday!" ben and allison said in unison.

"thanks," marie said awkwardly. "it wasn't that special, i just wanted to do something different with my life. i mean i'm thirteen now. i might as well experience new things."

"we're turning thirteen soon," ben said.

allison said, "yeah, we should do something special! not drink—but something special!"

"hey, that sounds fun! get the family together, throw a little party. we don't get much fun these days, what with dad being extra strict lately," klaus said.

"yeah, i know the extra training is for a good reason but sometimes i wish i didn't have to do it at all," ben said.

"why is he being extra strict?" marie asked.

"since we're turning thirteen, we're going to start going on missions," allison said. "fighting bad guys and stopping crime—for real, not just training."

"and then we go public! become world-famous superheroes!" klaus said, a starry look in his eyes. "our faces plastered across billboards—superhero kids, ready to save the world!"

allison laughed a little at klaus's dramatics. marie asked, "save the world?"

"because one day it's going to end," ben said.

marie stared at him, unbelieving. "...and you guys are going to stop it?"

"yeah!" klaus grinned.

"he says it's soon and that we'll be the ones to stop it. that's why we've been training," allison said. "but sometimes part of me thinks he's being overdramatic."

"definitely overdramatic. i don't see any signs of an impending apocalypse," ben said. "normally, there's always signs."

"who knows? dad could be right. he works in mysterious ways. like god," klaus said. "and if he's god, we're jesus. ready to save the world and die for everyone's sins!"

marie, ben, and allison all looked at each other, equally confused. marie said, "well, jesus didn't die until he was thirty something, so you guys have a lot of years left."

"twenty years, give or take," ben. "we just need to watch out for locusts and rampant disease. i think. i don't know, i haven't read the bible."

allison laughed. "yeah, well, we're only just about to be thirteen, so i guess we shouldn't worry about it too much."

"oh, yeah! what are we going to do to celebrate? is anyone down for skinny-dipping in the sewers?" klaus grinned.

they all looked at him, disgusted. ben said, "why would anyone do that?"

"ignoring him—how about you guys follow in my footsteps and experience something new? like... have you ever snuck out before?" marie asked. allison and ben shook their heads. klaus nodded, opening his mouth to speak, but marie didn't give him the chance. "shut up. i know you have. but how about we sneak out? we can go to... oh! i know just the place. it'll be a surprise, though. what do you think?"

ben glanced at allison, uneasy. "i don't know..."

klaus wrapped an arm around marie. "that sounds wonderful, marie! let's do it now!"

marie scrunched up her nose and pushed klaus off of her. allison said, "if we're going to sneak out, wouldn't it be better to do it on our birthday? let's actually plan it out, because lord knows we don't want to get caught."

"please, i've never been caught and i sneak out all the time," klaus said.

"but you have been caught," ben said. "and we know what happens when you get caught. it's dangerous. i don't want to sneak out."

"live a little, ben," marie said.

klaus nodded. he said, "exactly! we only live once, so we might as well fill all that time doing things that are fun and not live in fear of the punishments."

"for once, i agree with klaus. kind of. for the most part, it's better to follow the rules, but what harm can there be in living a little? experiencing a little bit of danger and breaking the rules," allison said, "it'll be fun!"

"i guess," ben said, though klaus could tell he wasn't convinced.

"so it's settled?" marie asked.

the three other kids looked between each other. klaus was ready, of course. he nodded at allison, urging her to agree. ben still didn't look very convinced, but he didn't object. allison seemed hesitant, but eventually she nodded. "yeah," she said, "let's sneak out."