smoking kills - klaus hargreeves | the umbrella academy

chapter eight

a few nights after sneaking marie in, klaus decided to actually try to sleep instead of staying awake all night. despite the fire hazard, he lit a candle as a makeshift night light. he knew having a night light was childish, but if he wanted to sleep he was going to need it.

klaus settled into the same pajamas he wore every night and bundled himself up in his gray bedsheets. eventually, he drifted off into sleep. it didn't last very long.

he woke up with a start, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. "god fucking damn it..." he muttered to himself.

he put his head in his hands, then slapped his face lightly. "you got this, klaus," he said to himself. "there's nothing scary about ghosts. they can't do anything to you. especially not dream ghosts. you just need to sleep."

klaus looked around his room. the clock read 1am—still lots of time to work on sleeping. he settled back into bed, hugging a pillow to his chest, hoping that it would comfort him more as he slept. it somewhat worked, as he fell asleep rather quickly.

he woke up another hour later, again on the verge of a panic. after calming himself down, he eyed the drawer in his nightstand. should he..?

he shook his head, determined to make it through. "third time's a charm."

it was not. once more, he fell asleep and then woke back up within the hour. nightmares were a bitch.

only a couple minutes later, klaus sat on the fire escape, smoking a joint. he wished he didn't have to smoke—he hated the smell—but he also liked to have peaceful nights of rest every once in awhile.

"smoking again?"

klaus looked down to see marie. he smiled sadly. "oh, you know, just trying to kill myself."

"casual tuesday night for you, i guess," marie said. "can i come up?"

"go ahead. you know i like your company," klaus said, gesturing to the ladder.

marie climbed up, then sat next to him, letting her legs dangle off the side of the fire escape. she observed him as he blew out a puff of smoke.

"i hate that smell, you know," marie said after a moment.

"me too. that's why i'm out here," klaus said, gesturing to the fire escape. marie examined his face, seemingly scrutinizing every inch. he made eye contact with her. he said hesitantly, "is... something wrong?"

marie said, "you seem different tonight."

"i'm trying to sleep for once," klaus said.

marie glanced inside, then back to klaus. "doesn't seem like it."

"yeah, well, you'd be surprised," klaus said with a numb laugh. "i've been trying to sleep for hours. i've given up, so i'm taking the easy way out."

"smoking?" marie asked. he nodded, holding up the joint. she said, "so you're not trying to kill yourself? that's good. for a moment there i was almost worried."

a smile started to grow on klaus's face. "aww, marie, you—"

"shut the fuck up." marie stopped him. "i said almost."

klaus simply hummed in response. the two sat in comfortable silence, klaus smoking, and marie watching him.

"can i ask you a question?" klaus said, after a few minutes.

"go ahead," marie said.

"why did you want to join the umbrella academy? what's the point of that?"

ah, well," marie said, quietly, "i wanted powers, you know?"

klaus didn't respond for a moment. "i think that's bullshit."

"you think i don't want powers?" marie forced a small laugh. "your worldview is a little bit messed up if you think anyone would prefer to be a boring, regular person."

"if this is the cost of having powers, i don't think i want them," klaus said, gesturing to himself. "i'd rather be a boring, regular ass person than deal with this shit."

"you gotta deal with shit either way," marie remarked. "i'd rather get something good out of it."

klaus cocked his head at her. "the night we met, you said your dad's a dick."

"yeah." marie turned to him. klaus noticed the way she slightly tensed up and got defensive. "and?"

"is that the shit you gotta deal with? is that why you wanted to join?"

marie's lips formed a thin line and her eyes narrowed. "no."

"hm." klaus decided not to push it. he changed the subject. "do you know what being emo is?"

marie gave a puzzled smile. "yeah, why?"

"i think i might be emo," klaus said.

"you say that like you don't have a choice."

"is it really a choice to be emo, or is it something deeply rooted within me that i'm born with?" klaus asked, dramatically. he placed a hand over his heart and pretended to tear up. "it's true. i'm born with it. i'm emo. i know 'cause, well—" he pretended to burst into tears— "no gets me!"

klaus flung himself onto marie's shoulder. she shoved him off. "i can't believe you're fucking real."

"you better believe it." he winked at her. she rolled her eyes. he then said, after a moment, "i'm joking about the emo thing. i'm practicing."

"for what?" marie asked, carefully. "are you about to come out to me right now? cause honestly, i swear to god, i will punch you in the face."

"that's homophobic." klaus frowned.

"it's not 'cause you're gay, it's 'cause you've been flirting with me all this time and that's kinda fucked if you really didn't mean anything by it," marie said.

"i wasn't lying when i said that i don't mean anything by it, marie," klaus said. he raised his eyebrows. "aw, you were hoping i meant something by it, didn't you?"

"fuck no. it's just—different. and get your head out of the gutter, klaus. i wasn't lying either when i said i don't fall for boys who smoke to cope with their daddy issues." marie scrunched her nose up.

"well, i'm not gay and i'm not smoking to cope with my daddy issues—i'm smoking to help my insomnia."

marie let out a light laugh. "okay, so what's the whole being emo thing practice for?"

"just in case i ever do have to come out," klaus said with a grin. marie punched him.