i wish i could go back...

Why?

why ?
As i was laying in my bed looking up at my ceiling i thought about how it used to be with all my friends.Me and sarah being complete opposites ,her being really girly and me being more of a tomboy ,nick and jacob talking about sports and the latest comics.All of us hanging around the playground after school and talking some nonsense that all of us seemed to understand somehow and making fun of eachother,judging each others jumps off the swings and how fast we could climb the monkey bars. I miss it.I miss when we used to be able to do that,all four of us doing random things with each other for no real reason other than just hanging out, i made us happy and we felt free from work and worries and back then that's all that mattered.Now all it seemed to be was work and worries,school work after school work,essay after essay and the real truth about what happened or could happened to Jacob.Sure he was a ghost now but what would happen if one day we just couldn't see him or hear him anymore.
What if all aspects of his figure were just invisible to us like everyone else?
I worried someday that would happen and we'd have to live fully without Jacob but for now I lay in my bed, close my eyes and try to fall asleep thinking about what the next day might bring.A new hope? A new fear? A new essay?.
At this point nothing would surprise me anymore than i already had been.But still i worried.