Because I'm Batman!!!

Mission ImJokeable

Red Hood POV
Last night after trashing Bruce's reopening and getting away with it, I had went back over toward Deathstroke's home. He would always welcome me to stay for as long as I would want. I really didn't know why he was so... different. Ever since he was caught up in a scam between the gay Robin and Beast Boy, he decided to retreat to Metropolis and live a normal life. He felt ashamed that he started a bakery. Not a nice way to settle down. Not even for an assassin.
One day, I was walking home from the store in Metropolis, picking up ingredients for Deathstroke's famous apple pie. I felt something not right. I didn't know if it was because of Mr. Deadpool who was Deathstroke's neighborhood or if it was because I think that blonde wacko drugged me with those pain killers. Damn Kardashians.
"Hey, Jason," Deadpool greeted, cutting his lawn with his swords.
"Hey, Mr. Wilson," I replied, walking my way up to the house.
Before I had entered, Deadpool had called me over. I hesitated for a second but then I just headed over. Deathstroke and Deadpool have never really got along. For one, they were alike but Deadpool was a funnier version of him. Two, Deadpool was still in job of assassination while Deathstroke wasted his life away baking and cowering. He was simply turning into Caitlyn, who on the other hand is beautiful.
Once I had walked over to the hedge that separated us, Deadpool leaned over and said "I love chimichangas man!"
I sighed in laughter.
"I just need to get some," he replied like he was a drug addict.
"Not now, Wilson. I have to help out Deathstroke with his apple pie and--"
"Please," he begged. "I'll pay you back."
I grunted. "Listen to me, its all the way in Gotham City. I need to stay in Metropolis."
Deadpool then slipped an envelope at my path. I had retrieved it and placed it in my pocket. I could tell that Deadpool was happy under that mask.
"I'll see you midnight," Deadpool said before vanishing inside his house.
I made my way inside so that I could place the groceries inside. Once I entered, I wamted to walk away. Deathstroke spoke in a mothery accent and wore an heart shaped apron. It sickened me.
"Oh my goodness, what happened to your manhood?" I asked, placing my face in my palm.
"Nothing deary," he said, fixing up candles on the kitchen table.
"Have you been speaking with Cyborg again because you remind me of him when he was his grandmother?"
Deathstroke giggled like a woman and patted my red helmet. He picked the groceries from my hands then placed it on the counter. I went toward him but he pushed me back.
"You've helped me so much lately, darling," he began, making things awkward. "So tonight is a free night."
I looked at his appearance. "No you need help and I don't mean cook help."
Deathstroke laughed again. It was getting creepjer than I remember so I took the offer and left the city to Gotham for Deadpool's food. In my Ferrari, I was going as fast as I could to get away from Deathstroke. That man was literally broken inside. It made me wonder if he and gay Robin actually-- Ew. No. Never mind.
Before I made it to Gotham, my Galaxy buzzed. It was Deadpool. Instead of a normal call, it was a video message. I pressed play.
"Morning Red Hood."
Ironically, it was night.
"I didn't really want you to get me chimichangas, although you better pick me some up before coming back. I had a small assignment for you."
Boy, wonder what that could be.
"At Ace Chemicals, I had traced the Joker and the hot blonde girl there. They are planning to destroy the chemicals there and release some kind of movie out there."
I sighed. "Fifty Shades of Grey."
"Good luck. And I'm serious about those chimichangas. Thank me later. Deadpool out."
It actually took a couple of minutes for him to turn it off. In the middle of nowhere, I pumped the gas and began to drive straight for Gotham. Killing Joker has always been my plan and I think this is my biggest chance if Batman and gay Robin doesn't interfere. Well, here goes nothing.