The Mentally Brave

Chapter 30

It has been three months since Stan said he can't make my powers work right.
My world was turned upside down by that. So much has changed around me, but I walk around in a daze, not wanting part in anything. Not caring, not nothing. Numb.
It took a while till it registered that the group upped and moved from the safe house to company X's headquarters- a.k.a- The compound.
They were learning all they could on Foster and the agents who left with him, collecting knowledge.
Ed spent most of his time down at the lab with Stan, while Liam and Harry were locked up in a room with Dr. Cowell learning whatever they could and sharing with him what they know.
We had classes about each and every one of the people who left to Ireland, and martial arts to make sure we are ready for them when they come.
Since we had Liam, we knew they don't know which ones of us the company had on their side which gave us the advantage, them not even knowing Harry and his dad joined forces.

I have my own room, sharing it some nights with Natalie and some nights with Harry, them being too scared to leave me on my own, though I don't mind, most of the time not even noticing who is with me.
Natalie whispers to me at night, letting me know how her day's been, telling me about her and Ashton. I sometimes try and make it seem as I am listening, nodding my head, and throwing in a comment here and there.
With Harry it is different. At first he tried to make me talk to him, tried to make me join the classes, his meetings with his dad, but he gave up. He now just sits next to me quietly, holding my hand, or resting his arm on my thigh. The nights he spends in my room, he holds me close to him, holding on to me the whole night, his hands wrapped around my waist, stroking my hair until I fall asleep. When he leaves me he, kisses the top of my head or my cheek, but nothing more than that. Slowly but surely he lost his interest in me.
Eleanor and Perrie come hang out every day, making me go outside to the park with them, or play a game. They paint my nails and do my hair. Natalie join sometimes as well. A lot of the time they need to bring Niall with so he can up my mood and make me be myself for a short amount of time.
On those occasions they fill me in on what I have been missing. Louis looks out for visions triggered by Foster, how Luke and Ashton became fast friends, and Perrie and Zayn dating, going on double outings with El and Louis.
The only person other than Niall that is able to snap me out of my daze is Lux.
Lou and Lux moved with us to the compound. In the beginning Lou was reluctant, after Dr. Cowell killed Tom. When they arrived she even tried to beat him up, held down by Harry. It took her a while, but knowing it is the best place for her and Lux, knowing they will be looked after by Harry and Niall made her stay.
Once a day, Lou brings Lux over to play with me. I wait for that baby girl to come, her blond ponytails and her cute smile. Sometimes we walk out to the park, I play on the slides with her, sometimes we go for ice cream, though we haven't done that for a while since the winter has come and the air turned cold.

"Liz?" Natalie peeks into the room "Why don't you come and eat something?" She asks.
Today El and Perrie managed with Niall's help to get me to join one of the classes, but to my dismay it was a power enhancing class.
Sitting and watching my friends learn new ways to use their abilities was just too much. I stormed out of the classroom and back up to my room throwing myself onto the bed angry tears stinging my eyes.
Natalie and Harry came running after me, and Perrie and Eleanor came to apologize later telling me they didn't know it would be that kind of class. I even turned Lou and Lux away, not feeling up to playing.
I never wanted my powers- until I lost them. Now I know how much I've depended on them. Reading people's thoughts, opening doors, getting books off the shelf, and into my hand. The small things were what made me miss them the most.
I just sat on the chair looking out the window ignoring her.
"Come on Liz" She comes in and lays a hand on my shoulder. When I still don't answer she leaves, closing the door after her.
A few moments later, the door opens again. Natalie is back with a tray of food for me.
"I brought some food here for you" She puts it down on the table "You must eat Lizzie, you can't just let your life go like this, there is more to it than your abilities".
"Natalie- can you just go- please? Leave me alone" I finally say, not able to listen to anymore of her babbling.
"Will you eat?" She questions.
"If I wanted to eat I would have gone to get me food!" I raise my voice losing it. This is the most I have spoken in days, and when I finally did it was a whisper, a murmur. I guess that is why Natalie is taken aback with me raising my voice at her.
"All right... than I'll take it" She stutters.
"Just GET OUT!!!" I scream. My shout makes Natalie jump and run out of the room. I sit back down on the chair going back to the spot I was gazing at before I was disturbed.
"Ok Lizzie" Harry walks into my room slamming the door after him. I cringe at the sound but other than that I don't move.
"Why did you scream at Nat? She was only trying to help?" He says, trying to keep his voice leveled. When I don't answer he goes on "You made your sister cry... She doesn't know what more to do, we all don't know what else to do with you" When I don't say a thing he moves closer to me, touching my shoulder just where Natalie did.
"You're scaring your sister, and me" It's quiet. I can feel Harry's green eyes watching me, waiting for me to say something, do something.
"Damn it Lizzie!" He shouts, pushing at my chair, turning it so now I am facing him.
"I don't know what else to do with you! Do you understand? I can't anymore" He sighs bending over to my eye level. At that I get up, attempting to walk away from him- He doesn't know what to do? He has everything he wanted.
"Don't you fucking walk away from me Liz" He takes hold of my arm pulling me to a stop.
"I'm done!" He claims. I stare down at the floor. I knew Harry is giving up on me, but actually hearing him say it, it hurts, stinging my heart.
"I am not letting you get away with this kind of behavior- you can treat me like shit but not your sister! It's your sister god damn it!" He shakes me.
"How can we help you when you aren't willing to help yourself?" He shakes me some more. My stinging eyes can't hold the tears any longer letting them spill out.
Seeing my tears makes Harry stop shaking me, holding both of my arms in his grip, studying my face. This is the first time I cried since Stan told me about my powers- the first emotion I have shown in months.
"Good let it all out" He whispers looking down at me. I stand there sobbing, Harry's fingers wrapped around my arms, him staring down at me as I cry.
"You can't go on like this" Harry finally states, his voice calmer.
"I can't go on like this? or you just can't deal with it any longer?" I challenge him.
He stares down at me his jaw clenched. Tears still running down my cheeks as I glance into his green hard eyes.
I push him away from me, but he holds on to my arms even tighter.
"Let me go" I pull back "Go- get out- you don't want to be here anyway" I accuse him.
"Lizzie" Harry hisses not letting go.
"Let go of me! I'm not a part of your lot anymore- so just leave me be" I try and break free of his grip, but without my powers it was useless
"What are you talking about?" Harry's eyes squeeze into slits.
"Let me go" I scream, starting to kick at him
"Calm down- what the hell is wrong with you?" Harry has my wrists locked in one of his palms while the other hand tries to get a hold of my chin.
I shake my head violently so he won't be able to.
"Let go of me" I scream once more. Ed and Niall come running into the room.
"What the hell is going on?" Ed asks. I can feel Niall trying to relax us but I am too far gone for it to work on me.
"She is going completely mental on me" Harry has his arms around me in a lock.
"As if you care- let me go" I shout, sobs escaping my mouth as I try to fight him off.
"Hold on" Ed says coming closer "Harry hold her still" That gets me into a much bigger state
"Niall help please" Harry demands. Niall strides over. When I look at Ed he is holding a needle in his hand.
"No! Leave me alone- get away from me" I start screaming and crying louder than before.
"Get her to the bed- Lizzie, it's only a sedative, it will make you feel better" Ed promises.
"No! No- you're not a doctor- get away from me! Don't touch me" I shout. Though my strength is no mach to Harry and Niall's.
"Ed- today could be good mate" Niall claims. He is trying his best to calm me down. I can see that my emotional state is starting to take a tool on him too, since his ability works both ways.
Harry's hand come over my eyes, not wanting me to see the needle as I am scared of them. I feel the pinch to my flesh as Ed pricks me.
"You promised me!" I cry though I stop fighting them.
"Thank you- you can go now" Harry tells his friends.
"You promised nothing bad would happen to me" I repeat, my face wet and my nose running.
"I am doing the best I can" He whisper petting my hair. He wipes down my cheeks as I fall asleep, put under by the needle Ed gave me.



When I come around I can hear people whispering.
"I'm scared, what if it won't help her? I can't see her like this anymore" I hear Natalie say
"I won't let her- she'll get better" Harry answers her
"What if she doesn't?" I can hear the fear in my sister's voice- feeling shameful for making her feel this way.
"I am not giving up on her Nat- we won't give up" Harry promises.
I stir to let them know I am up.
I open my eyes to find both of them watching me.
"Hi" Natalie smiles. Her smile is stiff, she isn't sure what my mood might be like.
"Nat" I look at her, I stretch my fingers to reach her hand that lays on the bed.
"How are you feeling?" She inquires taking my hand in hers.
"I'm sorry" Tears once again start to fall from my eyes "I was terrible to you, I was awful- I'm so so sorry"
"Oh Lizzie, It will be ok, I won't let you sink like this again"
"I love you Nat" I whisper.
"I love you too" She replies. Her eyes glaze from her own tears.
Then I turn and look at Harry. His green eyes are still hard as before, his jaw set.
"Natalie, would you mind- please-" Harry starts
"Sure, I'll be back later" She touches my leg, getting up to leave the room. I pull myself up to a sitting position, watching as Harry's eyes find mine.
"Liz" He starts. I look down at my hands not able to meet his eyes any longer.
"Did you really want me to leave you? Did you really think it was a choice for me?" I can hear the hurt in his words, the way I've burnt him.
"I thought- I was sure you grew bored with me, that you were fed up, now I'm no longer like all of you, I'm not a part anymore, I thought..." I am breathing heavily trying to control my crying.
"Lizzie- why would you ever think that? That is the biggest load of rubbish I have ever heard"
"I- I, I wasn't- I" I start sobbing into my hands, feeling ashamed, feeling foolish. What was I thinking?
"Listen to me Liz" Harry moves to sit on the bed facing me, he pulls my hands away from my face covering them with his.
"You will always be a part of us- with powers and without. I would never give up on you! Never- do you understand?"
He waits for me to nod my head at him. Once I do, he brings his forehead to mine, looking deep into my eyes.
"You scared me" He whispers
"I scared myself" I sigh as he moves away to have a better look at me.
"It was a dark hole, and I just couldn't find my way back"
"Next time you ever feel that way- promise to come and talk to me"
"I promise"
Harry leans in bringing his lips to mine, brushing my hair back as we touch. I missed his touch- this touch- the one of passion - desire. The kiss turns hungry, Harry too, missing, craving this kind of touch. I inch closer to him, sitting on my knees pulling his face closer with my hands. His hands move from my thighs to my waist pinning our chests together as we kiss. I feel his lips leave mine and trail down my jaw line to the side of my neck.
"Hay I have- Wow! Didn't think" Liam stops in his place, Ed behind him. I let go of Harry, we both turn to look at them "What is it?" He asks his hands fall to my thighs.
"I have good news- we might have found a way to help Liz"