Hatchetfield Drabbles

How Old Are You?

Richie knew he was what some would call "scatter brained." Random thoughts would pop up at any time, day or night, and more often than not, he said what was on his mind.

"Hey Uncle Paul, how old are you?"

The question took him off guard and he looked at his nephew skeptically. "Uh, why are you asking?"

Richie shrugged, looking up from his phone. "I dunno, I just realized I don't know how old you are."

Paul thought it over and smirked. "Wait- guess."

Richie sat up straighter, rubbing his hands together mischievously. "46," Richie said, then immediately burst into laughter. Paul's eyes flew wide open in shock, and a little bit of betrayal.

"WHAT?" he screamed, making Richie laugh harder.

"It's a guess," he wheezed through his hysterics.

"THAT WAS SO FAR OFF!"

"Why're you yelling at me?" he asked, a smug, shit eating grin on his face.

"THAT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE! Like- okay so normally, when people ask that question they say, like, a little bit younger. "Was that your little bit younger guess?"

"Uh, yeah," Richie quipped. "You're like 49, aren't you?"

"What?" Paul cried out for the millionth time,

"So was I right?" he asked, as if that's what anyone would gleam from that reaction.

"Hell no! I'm not even in my 40's!" he exclaimed. Richie turned to him with furrowed brows.

"Oh. Really?"  Then it seemed to "dawn" on him as his jaw dropped in revelation. A small gasp escaped as he spoke, "Oh I knew it, I was just being nice," he nodded solemnly.

"NO I'M NOT IN MY 50's, WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I KNEW IT"?" Paul screeched, making Richie fall against the couch in a fit of laughter. "I'M ONLY 32!"

"Damn, you old as hell," Richie mocked through bouts of laughter.

"Excuse me?" Paul asked, using his "mean adult" voice to get his attention. Richie didn't answer beyond hysterical laughter. "Hey! Don't laugh while I'm trying to talk to you!" he scolded lightly, fighting off a smile.

"What're you gonna do about it, old man?" he goaded. It was rare to see Uncle Paul so worked up, and it was hilarious.

"What I have to," he answered forlornly. Without warning, or perhaps that was Richie's warning, he latched onto his closest knee and squeezed. He shrieked and jerked his leg away, panic setting in as the tickling didn't stop.

"Wait wahahait I'm sohorry!" he pleaded, tucking his legs close to his chest and backed into the corner of the couch.

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be," Paul said with a smirk, reaching over to "crack an egg" on his knees, sending him into a fit of laughter. He drummed his feet on the couch, shaking his head back and forth.

"Ihihi'm sohorry nohohow!" he pleaded with a snort. Paul chuckled and decided to show the kid some mercy. He leaned back and ruffled his hair.

"Heh, yeah you are."