find solace (belong) [KNY/BNHA]

[27] yet still, i yearn

Fifteen days of back and forth was all it took. And Charlotte had to admit – it was nice in a sense. Now that there wasn't a fixed goal to work towards like passing the final selection, training became more focused on breaking and refining. Something that Makomo and Sabito were more than willing to assist with, even if they mainly focused on Tanjirou's progress.

Things were rather peaceful. Clanging of swords as Sabito and Charlotte sparred, the sound of grass rustling and bark chipping off of trees each time the other pushed off of the wooden surface, the awed voice of Tanjirou and the occasional chime of Makomo's voice became natural.

And although the fights were great for keeping that feeling in her veins— for maintaining the way her heart beat steadily in confidence, the way her blood heated, flowing with ease —it also helped her stiff and recovering muscles relax. Their matches no longer ended so one-sidedly, and Charlotte couldn't help the sigh of relief when she realised that winning against Sabito wasn't just a fluke.

Of course, that didn't mean she was suddenly winning every single round and decimating the peach-haired boy. No. It was safer to say that they were more evenly matched than anything else.

Charlotte spent her time wisely during this period of waiting. Drawing, sewing, training, meditating, sparring and assisting Urokodaki with cooking occasionally. Even though she had filled her days to the brim with activities she could do, she didn't feel tired at all. Or at least, it was a different tiredness compared to the mental exhaustion she felt immediately after the final selection.

Packing her days with things to do buried something away within her heart that she wasn't willing to recognise yet.

Sabito and Makomo had acted normally ever since that first day, and Charlotte didn't bring up the fact that they were technically ghosts defying the world by remaining in the realm of the living again.

Charlotte had known for so long— since forever. She knew that Sabito and Makomo were dead even before they even met. She knew that it would be likely that if she killed the hand-demon during the final selection, that Sabito and Makomo would disappear.

That was why she treated their last goodbye as truthfully as possible. Because she knew that it may be the last she'd see of them for the rest of her life.

Which was why it felt kind of weird, now, when Charlotte looked at the two ghosts and felt a twinge of something in her heart. The way that subconsciously, her eyes would stray towards them, unconsciously, she'd try to actively commit every single moment they shared into her memory despite knowing she'd never forget them.

It was weird to treat them as dead when they were right in front of her, but it also pained her to see them alive— knowing that they could never experience life the way they should've. Knowing that their time had been robbed away from them so cruelly. Knowing that they were no longer tethered to this world, yet were still clinging on in order to fulfil their training with Tanjirou.

Taking a deep breath, Charlotte gazed at her line-up of dolls with glassy eyes.

Sabito, Makomo, Tanjirou, Nezuko, Urokodaki, and even Gin. Last time she accompanied Urokodaki into town, she had bought some more coloured thread and dyed fabric, as well as a variety of glossy buttons. Under the sun, they looked like pretty little jewels. She even managed to make Mr Floofington too, with black stone buttons as eyes and patches of brown on white fur.

The black-haired girl had made one of herself as well, only because Tanjirou had insisted that she didn't leave herself out, claiming that the doll-versions of themselves would be lonely without their own "Char" to accompany them.