not strong enough~ walker scobell

~ seven

once brady, xóchitl, dior, and charlie got to the car we all packed in and drove back to xóchitl's house. dior and charlie had taken an uber to the mall anyway so us driving them back was better for them then paying again. once we got to xóchitl's house at around 3pm charlie, walker, and brady all went downstairs to play games on xóchitl's xbox. while they were playing games xóchitl, dior and i went up to xóchitl's room to get ready for dinner later that night. we had reservations at 6 pm at a restaurant a half hour away so we had a little over 2 hours to get ready and hangout.

"so how did it go with you and walker cam?" dior said putting on some lip gloss in xóchitl's mirror.

"um it was ok i guess" i said laying down in xóchitl's bed

"girl come on give us more then that" xóchitl said walking in the room with a bag full of makeup.

"well we talked about fans and things like that for a little and we got lunch" i said sitting up in the bed.

"what about the fans?" dior said turning around.

" he just said that he didn't want your guys' fans to know who i was because he was scared how it would effect our friendship. wait that sounds bad he didn't say it like he was like hiding me or anything he just wanted to like shield me from them because he didn't know if i was ok with them knowing who i was or not or if i was ok with any of the things they would say" i said standing up and walking towards the mirror.

"well how do you feel about fans and stuff like that?" xóchitl asked.

"i don't really care. i mean people will talk about you however they want and i don't let it effect me but like i don't know." i said putting my elbows on the dresser in front of the mirror and putting my hands over my face.

"well what if people saw you two together and started thinking that you were dating how would you feel then?" dior said putting the lip gloss down and facing me.

" i don't care what people say but feel how he feels like how would those rumors effect me and him" i said

"well if he's thinking that much into it then he clearly want to keep talking to you and get closer to you" xóchitl said " are ok with that?"

"i think i am," i said as i turned around and looked into the mirror. "i shouldn't though right?" i said looking over at xóchitl then to dior " i mean i just met him and i have so much going on right now but i jus- i just don't want to get hurt right now i just got to a good place." i said sitting down on the floor.

"well look cam, walker's not the type to do anything like that and look your feelings will always prevail no matter how hard you try to repress them." xóchitl said crouching down to me and rubbing me on my back

"well he doesn't even know me he doesn't know i-" i said looking over at dior who and been next to me. i realized she doesn't know i'm trans. the thought passed my head and i wasn't sure to tell her or not. i mean better now then ever.

" um dior you don't know this about me either." i said looking at her

" you can tell me anything i swear i wont tell anyone you have my trust." she said holding my hand

" well um i'm um- transgender." i said looking at her. a look of confusion passed over her face.

"oh ok cool thats fine," she said obviously not sure what to say. " i mean im still gonna be friends with you no matter if your transgender or not i still see you the same. im also happy you felt safe enough to tell me." she said rubbing my back.

" thanks i mean not a-lot of people know i mean xóchitl knows, my family knows, some other friends from my old school know, oh and brady found out too." i said looking over at xóchitl