not strong enough~ walker scobell

~ nine

If you had asked me what I thought would happen a month ago, had I seen this exact scenario, I could honestly say that this is the tame version. I feel like every single time I let myself fall for these delusions, I just end up hurt. but this time was unexpected in the moment. I felt like I and Walker really had something. had. We had something.

the morning after the dinner:

I woke up in bed with a pounding headache and the juice-stained dress sticking to my body. I sat up in bed and looked through the messages that I had gotten overnight from my friends and strangers. Normally, I would have sat there and let myself pick myself apart because of the comments, but I didn't. I put the phone down and wasn't just going to waste time in bed because of this. It was weird, and I felt too tired to deal with it.

I got up and walked to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and got in. Feeling the warm water cover my body was comforting and made me feel safe.

After my shower, I got dressed in the baggiest outfit ever. "I just need to feel comfy," I told myself. I went down the stairs, where I was greeted by my mother, who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey mom," I said, walking toward the fridge.

"Hey, sweetie, Are you feeling any better?" she said, stirring her coffee.

"I mean, not really," I said, grabbing the orange juice and a cup from the cabinet. "I was embarrassed in front of him and all of my best friends, so I feel a little upset right now," I said in an exhausted tone as I sat down in a chair.

"You need to talk to him, honey," she said, looking at me.

"What do you mean?" I said, looking up at her.

"Do you not remember what you told me last night, sweetie?" she asked.

"No, I don't really. I mean, after everything had happened, I just zoned out," I responded, almost laughing at myself.

"Well, you told me that you blocked him and don't want to talk to him or something, but you need to, honey," she said.

"I was really messed up last night, then, God," I said. "Um, I don't know, not yet. I need time to think about everything first, you know," I said.

"Well, at some point you need to, ok?" she said, standing up and hugging me from behind.

"Do you have work?" I asked.

"Yeah, I should get going," she said, grabbing her shoes from the closet.

"Okay, well, have a good day," I said, walking over and hugging her.

"I love you, sweetie," she said, grabbing her coat.

"I love you too, Mom," I said, leaning on the door frame.

Later that day:

I opened my phone again and let the number sink in. I had over 7,000 new followers on my account because of the paparazzi pictures from last night. I assumed that's why, but maybe I'm just popular for another reason. I looked at my text messages and saw over 99+ from Walker. I couldn't let myself open them and decided to just put my phone down again.

The rest of the day, I stared at my computer screen, trying to start writing about the new school. I couldn't focus. My brain was too focused on him and what he texted me. I opened a new document and started to write about him and how slim the chance of us dating was. The words just flowed out of my head and onto the paper like water. I wasn't struggling at all to write it. The writing wasn't bad either; it was deep and emotional. By the end of the day, I had about 30 pages of writing. I closed my computer and laid back in bed. "I just started my new book, and it's about Walker," I said, putting my hands over my face.

I then felt my phone vibrate from the other side of the bed and reached out to grab it. On one side of my phone, I was being told to grab it and answer the phone. But the other side was telling me to let it ring and stay away from the phone for a little. My curiosity got the better of me, and I picked up the phone. The number shows no caller ID. I was confused, but what did I have to lose? I answer the phone and put it on speaker.

"Cam, is that you?" The person on the other side said,.

"Yes, who is this?" I was confused about who could be calling me.

"It's Xóchitl," she said.

"Oh, hey, I'm sorry about last night, and I just wanted to say that," I said before she interrupted me.

"Cam, you did nothing wrong," she said.

"Yeah, I know," I said emotionlessly.

"Look, we need to talk in person," she said seriously. "I'm coming over in 20 minutes," she said before hanging up.

I wasn't exactly ready to see anyone from the night prior, not even Xóchitl, and I think she knew that. But she would invite herself over unless she needed to. bad news.

So I sat there, waiting for her to show up.

awaiting my death.

a/n:

We are so back, bitches!!!! Hey guys, so this part has been sitting in my drafts for about 3 months, and today I finally decided, after a month of waiting, to sit down and write something that I want to post. So here you go! Part nine: Cam's POV of the day after or the first half of the day after. Part 10 will either come back in the next week or in another 3 months. I'm not sure.

PS: Thank you guys for all the love and support over my break, because we basically doubled in reads and everything else, so thank you guys again so much!!!!!