not strong enough~ walker scobell

~five

at home

as i began getting ready for xochitl's sleepover, my mind couldn't stop replaying the events that unfolded earlier in the day. why was walker so mean at first, then the kindest guy i had ever spoken to? is he just trying to use me or playing a joke? but why would he do that? he barely knows me. i just need to keep my guard up and not let him get too close just in case.

i put on some makeup and gathered some of my things like my blanket, pillow, and some skincare. i then looked across the room to my macbook and contemplated bringing it to show xochitl some of my new story ideas.

"ready for me to drive you over to xochitl's honey?" my dad yelled from downstairs.

"um, yeah, i'll be down in a minute," i yelled, grabbing my macbook and putting it into my tote bag.

me and my dad were at a weird state in our relationship ever since our fight about me returning to school. we were talking, but not like we used to.

the car ride to xochitl's was quiet until he said, "so, um, how is school?"

"um, it's okay, i guess," i said, clearly not in the mood to talk about it.

"i just want what's best for you, cam. you know that, right?" he said, looking over to me then back at the road.

"yeah, dad, i know," i said, "and i feel like you may not see it now, but the opportunities and environment of this new school will be very beneficial to your future," he said, pulling into xochitl's driveway.

"dad, look, i just don't want to talk about this right now, okay? maybe tomorrow" i said, taking off my seatbelt.

"okay, cam, fine we can talk about it tomorrow . i love you," he said, looking over to me as i opened the door.

"i love you too, dad," i said, closing the car door and walking over to his side of the car. he rolled down the window.

"i'm going to the mall tomorrow with xochitl; then, she's dropping me off at home, okay?" i said.

"okay, just make good choices, and there's no boys, right?" he said, almost as if it where a joke.

"well... um, there are, i'm gonna be honest, but listen, one is xochitl's boyfriend of a year, and the other one is one of xochitl's closest friends," i said, worried he would get mad.

"listen, i would have liked an earlier warning, but i trust you. but no kissing," he said, getting a tad frustrated.

"you think i'm in the mood to kiss people? new school, mental issues, and body issues, dad, i'll be fine," i said, laughing.

"okay, fine. i trust you. love you and see you tomorrow," he said, beginning to pull the car out of the driveway.

"love you, dad," i said walking to xochitl's front door.

i rang the doorbell and heard xochitl's dog finn barking, i then saw her walking towards the door to let me in. she opened the door, and finn jumped out, licking me and wagging his tail.

"hello to you too, finn," i said, crouching down to his level.

"come on, finn, let's go," xochitl said, bringing him inside.

"hey, girl," i said, walking into her house and taking my shoes off.

"hey, i'm just prepping some snacks if you want to help," she said, grabbing my bags from my hands and placing them next to the stairs.

"sure," i said, following her into the kitchen.

we prepared cookies, a fruit tray, drinks, and an array of chips and candy. once we finished getting everything ready, we brought them down to the basement and placed the food out. after that, i grabbed my things from next to the stairs and made my way up to xochitl's room with her.