Fortune Cookies -A chenford story

-10. I had ruined my life-

I love you.

I wrote it down on the little piece of paper in my hand. But then I panicked. I couldn't do it. Not yet. So I put the paper into my pocket, together with Tims name, and wrote down another things I liked about him. When this game was done, Grey explained the next one.

"Ok, everyone. In the next game, you pull a name and make this person a little present. You pull just one name and have time until tomorrow to get it."

Like he said, everyone pulled a name, and I got John. I smiled. John was good. I already had an idea what to do. At home, I had a few babytoys from my childhood laying at home and would buy cute bodies.

The rest of the day went very nicely, even if it was a little hectical. In all of this, I hadn't had the time to see Tim or to open the three little papers in my pocket. But at the end of the day in the locker room, I pulled out the papers, but they fell onto the floor. Before I could grab it, Angela already gave them back to me, while noisey openening one.

"Oooh, this one was for Tim-"

I wanted to take it back from her because I knew which one she held in her hand. But she had already unfolded it fully and read it out loud.

"I love you!"

She gasped and then looked up at me before offering me a soft smile.

"So you love him, huh?"

A bit panick rose up in my chest but then fell down in relief.

"Yess! God! It's so nice to tell someone."

With another sigh, I sat down on the bench, and Angela couldn't hold back a giggle.

"You finally realized it?"

"Yes... and I know I have to tell him... but... how?"

A wide grin formed in Angela's face before she couldn't hold her laughing back anymore.

"Well, to be honest? The second game... me and Nyla swiped names a bit to get yours and Tim to set you up on a fake date."

She- what? I knew they kinda shipped us but that they'd go so far? I couldn't help but giggle at this.

"Really?"

"Yesss! We couldn't watch you two anymore without ripping each other's clothes off!"

"I-"

Angela. I just shook my head while played annoyed, rolling my eyes.

But, maybe it wouldn't be a that bad idea...
            
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I arrived at the location Angela told me. I hadn't awesred something extremely special because I knew exactly that Tum didn't know that I was coming to this date or better that anyone was coming.

I'm good undercover, so it wasn't hard to play surpriseness when he arrived and sat down at the same table. Our 'Dinner' went very nicely, and I wanted to bring up the braveness to tell him what I felt.

He walked me up to my apartment while we were still laughing until we stopped in front of my door. I was surprised. I hadn't even said a word about my feelings at that point, but his lips seemed to move closer to mine.

Closer...

And closer...

Closer...

Closer...

And then he pulled away, something I couldn't read slimming in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I- I know you don't feel so. You never did. You told me at the hotel. I'm sorry..."

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"It just doesn't feel like pretend."

For a heavy moment, Tim's words hung in the air when I tried to pull my words together.

"It's an intimate act... I mean..."

Wait! What was I talking about there? Why did this stupid stuff flood out of my mouth? Of course, I liked him.

"We had to be dead inside for to not triggered something..."

No! Stop it!

"It's basic biology..."

Boom. There I said it. Why? Of course, I panicked to tell him about what I really felt for him but so panicked that I talked this kind of shitty stuff? In that moment, I had to hold back my tears I. I didn't mean to hurt him and I could see the pain in his eyes. And I should've said something! I should've taken it back.
But I didn't. I didn't say something else.

I didn't.

_______________________________________

I should've said something. But I didn't.

And in that moment, I realized it had been the stupidest thing I had ever done. I had ruined my life.