love to hate me -shuhua's pov //sooshu

chapter 8

shuhua's cell phone had been ringing incessantly next to the bed for two hours

the brunette was lying on her bed, with her nose pressed to the pillow, it hurted a little, but not as much as her heart

she was such a loser, she mentally congratulated herself on becoming a fucking idiot and a clingy asshole at the same time

the phone stopped ringing, but she knew it would ring again in an hour or so

she wouldn't answer anyway, she promised herself she wouldn't

soojin had been calling her incessantly since after the match, she had done it twenty times now

shuhua sat distressedly looking out the window, her eyes were half closed and her hair disheveled

It was raining outside, it was almost dark, and to be honest it felt like the world was coming to an end

maybe that was it and she wouldn't have cared, because what did she have left?

yuqi ended their friendship, miyeon is giving her the silent treatment, their mom is barely home and soojin... yes, soojin is complicated too

shuhua buried her face in the pillow again when her cell phone started ringing one more time

don't do it, shuhua

it continued to ring

do not do it

ring

think for yourself

"mhf, god" shuhua growled and grabbed her phone

she shouldn't have done it, when she came home from friday's game she felt the world on her shoulders, especially after realizing that not even soojin wanted to get close to her anymore

soojin, who had been her rock for the past few months

she had started to think about it and the conclusion she had come to was that she was starting to have feelings for her

maybe miyeon was right; there was a tiny, tiny chance that she was right

there had to be a reason why she hadn't felt completely fucked as long as soojin was around, right?

there had to be a reason why she'd been feeling miserable ever since they'd argued

"mrgff"

"shu?" soojin's voice was soft and much warmer than she expected, she thought the blonde had called to argue

shuhua snorted with her head still glued to the pillow
"speak"

"i want to apologize, shu" soojin started
"for many things"

this was absolutely not what she expected, she felt like she had stopped breathing

"It's not fair to do what I did before the game. first of all, it's not my job to tell you when or how to tell your best friend that you're a lesbian."

"queer" shuhua murmured, soojin's voice was so damn sweet, she could rock her to sleep

"okay, queer" soojin said and the brunette imagined a small smile on the blonde's lips
"but it's not my job anyway"

how did they get to that point? soojin was sincerely apologizing to her, dammit

"besides," she continued
"having that speech before the most important match of the year was idiotic.
there was no point in you putting up with that too and I..." she trailed off, clearing her throat in embarrassment

"soojin?"

"okay, fuck" she looked so embarrassed and pathetic
"this will seem strange to you and don't think it means anything, umm, I.."