Stockholm Syndrome

10. My Rageaholic Date

"Emiwee," I hear a little girl speak, it's Ella. "Say Emily, wake up, it's morning time and there's food," I can hear J speaking as well. I open my eyes and say good morning and giggle lightly. "Food!" Ella yells as she runs away from J's arms. J shakes his head and smiles warmly at me, "Good morning." I smile back at him. "She really likes you, huh?" I ask sitting up. "Yeah, but I like kids," he admits. He starts taking off both of our clear bandages revealing our new, dry, and beautiful tattoos. "I didn't know you had a thing for kids," I watch as he throws the bandages away. "That's because I'm never around any." I stand up. "I feel like I'm getting to know the real you," I watch him make the bed as I lean against the wall. "You don't know the half of me, Emily, you'll never know the real me," he warns. "You're afraid for me to know the real you, huh?" I smirk walking up to him. He tells me to stop but I don't. "You don't want me to know you, you're insecure," I am now standing in front of him. "You don't want me know that deep down inside you're some sweet guy that has just as many problems as any other person would have. You," I continue poking him in the chest as I start a new statement, "don't want me to know that you're sensitive, that you like romance, that you hate kidnapping people!" I start getting angry with him because he refuses to let me see the real him. "Shut up, Emily! Stop!" He grips his hair tight due to all the anger built up inside of him. He then pushes me against the wall, holding me by my wrists with my hands on both sides of my face. "I don't want you to know me for a reason! What don't you understand about that!?" He yells in my face. "Get off of me," I command him. "No," he speaks through his clenched teeth. "Let me go!" I try to fight him off. "Stop moving! Why do you act like this!? Do I need to teach you a lesson? Do you WANT me to punish you!? Is that what you want?" He is furious. I close my eyes tight to avoid his eye contact. "J! Get off of her," I hear Grace rush to my side and pull him off of me. "Go take your medicine," she demands him. He looks at both of us angrily and leaves up the stairs. Grace asks if I am okay and I tell her I'm fine, I question her about J's medicine. "You didn't know he took medicine?" I shake my head no. "J is a rageaholic, meaning that he'll get angry over the smallest things, but not if he takes his medicine. He has to take it every morning or else he'll go crazy just like he did. He's going to be so mad at me for telling you this but you need to know." I can't believe I have never figured this out until now. Maybe that's why he always has an attitude. I can't get anything out. "You wanna know something?" She questions. I nod my head. "I don't know what it is but you're making him happy," she states. "Happy? He doesn't seem very happy," I look down. "Yes. If you saw the state that he was in before he grabbed you, you'd know. I know he's not going to let you go home, but he needs someone. He's been talking to me a lot more, he hasn't been getting drunk all the time... I need you to take care of my older brother." As she speaks, I see tears forming in her eyes. I don't hesitate and give her a hug. "I will, I promise."

5:30 p.m. J has been gone for an hour. He said we would go to dinner tonight but I guess not, he's probably not coming back soon. On the bright side, Grace and I are very alike and have a lot of things in common, we got along well. We even played 'dollies' with her 4 year old princess, she's a very good kid. As we get done playing, J walks through the door. "It's about time you came back!" Grace exclaims. "You act like I went out of the country," he jokes. We all laugh while he just lets out a small smile. "Go ahead and do your hair, or all that other crap girls do, put this on and come back down, When you're done we'll head to dinner." He hands me a bag. I try to look inside of it but he tells me to wait until I'm upstairs. I do as he says and go to his room.

5:45 p.m. I'm glad J didn't forget about dinner, I guess this is what he was doing all this time. I don't look inside until I'm done taking a quick 10 minute shower. I'm standing in my bra and underwear when I look inside the bag. I'm astounded. I pull out a curling iron, my hair is just like my mom's... completely straight. I pull out another small bag that's inside the bigger bag and find that there are different types of foundation, obviously because he didn't know what color I was. I'm surprised to find that there are all kinds of makeup like eye shadow, eye liner, lipstick and more. I have been begging him to buy me makeup and he's refused every time. But right now all I can think is... wow.