Stockholm Syndrome

20. Nothing Lasts Forever

Dear beautiful Emily,

I want to start off by apologizing for my terrible handwriting and grammer, it's not my fault you know, I didn't choose to be this way. I also want to say that I haven't been completely honest with you, my real name is James. Can't look at me the same now can you? Well, you won't actually be seeing me again. I hate to do this to you, I lived a terrible life but you made it so much better, I just can't keep making you upset with my actions. I can't help but think that I had actually killed someone, I can't go on living with something like this going through my head! Your family needs to know where you are and the police need to know what I've done. I'm going to call in the morning, they'll probably end up shooting me because of the way I'll act. I shouldn't do it, I know I shouldn't but I have to. They would find me one day. I'm going to miss you, you know. Right now I have your naked body lying next to my naked body. This is the last time I'll see you like this. This is the last time we'll have ever had sex... no, scratch that... made love. Emily, you've made me a better person, I want you to know that none of this is your fault. It's mine. It's my fault that I chose to live a life like this. I know you don't want me to go, I know you love me. I know you're in love with me because I'm in love with you too. I want you to always know that I'll be in love with you. I don't want you to think about me everyday and think about what you could have done because there is nothing you could have done. NOTHING. I'm doing this because I love you, I don't know how many times I'm going to tell you I love you in this note but it's all worth it in the end. I'm sorry I've done this to you, I hate seeing you cry. I hate the way I treated you badly at times. But I just want to thank you now. I want to thank you for teaching me about life, about how I can't just hate everything in my way. Everybody has a different life with a different past. I can't treat people the way I was treated all the time. You're only sleeping and I already miss you. I'm going to miss kissing you, hugging you, cuddling, bathing... making love most of all because you were so good at it. I'm sorry that I was your first time and that I'm going to be dead. I feel bad. I would have never found someone as amazing as you, I would have never found someone to show me life like you. I want you to have my necklace, I've had it since I was a little boy. Don't lose it. Please don't lose it. You can take everything I have, my clothes and everything, just make sure if you ever see my siblings to give them a little something as well. I don't think I've ever cried so much like I am now. I love you, Emily, I love the feeling of falling in love with someone like you.

Love, J.

I put the necklace on and close my eyes, letting the tears fall. "I love you, James," I whisper to him because I know he's listening. I wish things could have lasted longer but I guess that's just life, nothing lasts forever.

I had my mother drive me to the house I was trapped in for so long the next day. I tell my father, and my friends to stay in the car while I go in by myself. I stood staring at the body in the not-so-expensive coffin. I was the only one here, the only one that showed up. Not in a church, but in a house. There was no service held, though I understood because I was the only one that showed up. I stroked the hair I would feel for the last time in forever. I kissed the forehead of this person, my person, and shut the coffin. Rest In Peace. I reached in my pocket and pulled out the letter once more, read it, and cried.

I love my kidnapper who gave me a case of Stockholm Syndrome. I love you James Capewell. I'll see you again some day.

Author's Note: HOLY CRAP I'M DONE!!!!!!!