Stockholm Syndrome

13. Promises Are Meant To Be Broken

This chapter is a bit short, but I promise you it's a good one!(;

I'm woken up with soft lips against mine. I smile and kiss back, what a wonderful way to wake up. I feel J pull away and I quickly become aware of my hangover. I have the worst headache in the world, I close my eyes tight. "Here, take this," J says handing me a bottle of water and a pill to help the pain. I open my eyes only to find J's face extremely close to mine. I can still taste the alcohol on both of us from last night, so we go and brush our teeth and lay back down. "We got so wasted last night," J speaks while we lay on the recliner with the TV volume turned down. "I know," I giggle softly hugging him from the side. I trace the key tattoo that he has to match my locked heart. I quickly memorize the pattern and close my eyes still tracing it. I barely remember anything that happened last night, it's so weird not to remember. I remember waking up naked next to J, who was naked as well, so we must have done something.. I remember the most important thing he told me as well. J said that he loved me. I think J meant what he said, after all, when you're dunk the truth comes out so he must have meant it. I start getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about the way he told me, it was so sweet and calm. "J?" I ask for his attention. "Yes, Emily?" He asks in reply. "I love you." I can feel his head lift up which causes me to open my eyes to see him looking at me shocked. "Sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. What did you say?" He asks for a repeat. "I love you," I bite my lip and sit up along with him. "No you don't," he laughs like I'm joking. "Yes I do, and I know you love me too," I tell him. "Emily, I don't love you like that," he explains. "You told me you did last night," I reassure him. "If I did, I didn't mean it. I don't mean anything when I'm drunk really," he stares at me with those dark brown eyes that I always fall for. "But J," I start to speak until he interrupts me. "I don't love you Emily." I stand up in front of him with my arms crossed. "You're not going to fight with me again are you?" He rolls his eyes and stands up in front of me, he is about 3 inches taller than me. "Everyone knows that anything someone says drunk, they mean it because they don't realize the truth is coming out J," I come out with a stern voice. "Well not me. Don't argue with me. You know what you need? Another drink." J turns around to go to the kitchen but I yell stopping him. "No! I don't want more to drink! I want you to admit that you actually love me!" I push his shoulder. "Don't push me. I don't love you, I don't love anybody, Emily, I told you this already." I hate when he acts like this. I hate when he acts like I'm stupid. "You are NOT acting like this," I shake my head and turn my back to him while covering my face. "Like what? I'm being myself and telling you the truth so that you don't actually get hurt. I don't love you, get that through your stupid head!" He yells back. Stupid? Oh, hell no. "I'm not stupid!" J shakes his head and laughs at me. I turn to face him once again. He stops laughing once he sees that tears are forming in my eyes. He starts to speak but I'm the one to interrupt this time, "I hate you!" I run to the door and run out of the house. I don't think this is a good idea, in fact... I KNOW this isn't a good idea. I run. Honestly, I don't care at this point, I'm running as fast as I can just like I did in my dream. "Get your ass back in my house!" I hear him yell. "Leave me alone!" I yell, obviously crying. I hear footsteps coming after me quickly. He's catching up to me, I shouldn't have ran. I feel him grab my waist tight, picking me up off of the ground. He's strong and carries me with one arm while the other is over my mouth. I scream, cry, and kick but it doesn't work... nothing works. There is no escaping J Capewell. In less than 5 minutes we arrive inside the house. He closes and locks the door behind us. "Did you just try to run away!?" He raises his voice with his eyes turning dark and face red from anger. I don't answer him. He pins me against the wall and continues yelling, "Am I going to have to treat you like everyone else that's been here!? Are you changing on me!? Do you want me to send you back to Markus, where you're actually supposed to be!?" He holds me by my shoulders tight. "You promised to never let him hurt me." I clench my teeth while speaking to him roughly. "Promises are meant to be broken. ALWAYS. PROMISES ARE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE BROKEN!" He raises his voice to what I believe is the loudest it can go. "Don't yell at me like that!" I slap him across the face. He pauses and stares at me for a second. "Go to the room," he demands. I tell him no. "I said go to the damn room, Emily!" He slaps me across my face as well, instantly leaving a print of his hand. I can feel it sting as I grab onto my cheek and close my eyes tightly while tears fall. I rush up to the room like I would if I were a little girl getting in trouble for back talking. He is going to let Markus hurt me, J is going to continue abusing me. My life is going uphill to downhill very quick. My life is turning into a living hell. Now I really want to go home. I regret everything I have done here. I regret kissing J, falling for him, and having my first time with him. I hate my life! I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and they stop inside the room. "From now on, I'm going to treat you how I should have treated you when you got here. Understand?" I don't speak, I'm too upset and angry to talk to him. "Answer me, Emily," he places his hand on my shoulder causing me to jump. He's officially scared me. "Okay," I answer just below a whisper. "Go to bed," he commands. "It's 8 o'clock, J." I avoid all eye contact. "I said go to bed." J leaves me in the room alone while he makes his way down. I'm screwed. I miss my family. I finally cry myself to sleep.

I find myself woken up at 2 a.m. because of how early I fell asleep. I see that the living room light is on from the crack of the bedroom door. I hear shuffling around indicating that someone is awake. It's J, I already know. I hear something fall... more like thrown, like he had thrown something. I jump at the sound of it. I tiptoe my way to the bedroom door and manage to open it without it creeking. I hear J talking to himself in the living room but I can't make out what he is saying. I find myself quietly reaching the bottom of the stairs to see J sitting on the floor. What on earth is he doing? "1... 2...3..." I hear him whisper followed by a click afterwards. He lifts up a gun to the left side of his head and repeats the numbers. Oh my gosh, he's trying to kill himself! What do I do!? What the hell do I do!? I stand there holding my hands over my mouth staring at him, I'm too in shock to do anything. I find my breathing uneven like I'm about to pass out. I watch him 'shoot' the gun as he counts to 3 again, I close my eyes and cover my ears as I hear the click. I open my eyes to notice that nothing has happened, he's not dead and there is no blood. I'm absolutely relieved. It takes me a while to realize what he's doing, he's trying to kill himself. He is playing Russian Roulette, just as he did when he was a few years younger. He switches the gun to the right side of his head. No, do NOT try again J! I watch and listen to him count again, "1... 2... 3..." J takes a deep breath. "No!" I scream out and hear J get startled as well. The gun goes off leaving a loud noise. "J!" I yell. Holy shit.

Author's Note: When I'm done with this story I'm going to make a prequel of J's life before he started kidnapping people... Like... It's going to start from his childhood up until he started kidnapping. Does that sound like a good idea? Also, did you enjoy this chapter? Let me know in the comments!!