Hi dad ,
Well , there's so much differences and kilometers betwen you and I and I don't like to talk bout my emotions specially with you but I'm tired of lying so I'm writing a letter instead even if I deeply know you'll never read it.
I love you a lot and even if I never admit it , You're such a model ,
A model I really admire
I never wanted to disappoint you
But I didn't choose to be this way
That's in my blood
Rainbows are running through my veins
Never wanted to be impolite
But I'm tired to be abused and mocked by the others
I know I made you angry
I know I made mama cry
And I'm sorry for that
But do y'all even know who I really am ?
I don't think so
I'm so much more than a smart student or an angry , impulsive child with suicidal thoughts.
I wish you could see me in other ways
But you know , I'm tired of working that hard and still don't see any results and be unconsidered.
No one see my efforts and that's hurts a lot because I literally gave all about me.
Sorry if I'm not like a little version of you
But I'm not a copy of anyone or anything else .
I'm unique in all the ways
Even if it's really embarrassing for y'all.
You see , I was always bullied and criticized by the others but please , don't be one of them cause I really need support of my parents even if I never requested it
I'm tired of this toxic relationship between me and you
Cause I really love you no matter what you said or did to me and even if I know you won't love me after.
But I need you to understand that I love those my heart has chosen and my mind can't control that cause love is crazy and incredible and for me it doesn't consider genders .
I know you will be mad at me since your funeral but I needed to be true to you and to myself no matter if you're happy or not. We both know that I'll never find courage to send you this letter or talking with you about my feelingz but you don't know how free writing make me feel.
Love you and still hoping for those good days where I will be able to be myself without being judged by you .
Even though we also both know these days will never come except in my delusional dreams.
Your son
