Wake Up

Chapter 12

The next day, Dan had a terrible stomach flu that came out of nowhere, that caused him to get up every fifteen minutes to vomit into the toilet. Thankfully, Phil was there the whole time to take care of him.
"How did this happen to me?" Dan asked weakly while his head was still in the toilet bowl.
"I'm not sure—," Phil paused mid sentence as he remembered what he saw Dan eat yesterday. He let out a sad sigh, and rubbed Dan's back comfortingly.
"I think the chocolate Josh gave you had passed the expiry date," Phil explained, feeling guilty.
Dan lifted his head slightly, feeling annoyed at the thought of Sam.
"That little—," Dan started before being interrupted by nausea.
When he was finished, Phil led Dan back to bed and tucked him in.
"It's no use," Dan said hopelessly. "I'll just be up and out again in the next few minutes if my stomach keeps acting up."
Phil nodded in agreement.
"I suppose," Phil sighed, and got up to leave, but he suddenly felt something grab hold of his wrist — causing him to look back.
"Would you stay with me?" Dan asked with a saddened voice.
For a second, Phil didn't know why he stood up, because even he didn't want to leave. Dan had been living alone for far too long, and he couldn't bear to think about how much he hurt Dan by leaving his side. His feelings for Dan were still there and strong, but he didn't feel the need to run from them, so he smiled sweetly and sat back down on Dan's bed.
"Of course," Phil spoke gently, as if he was holding back tears.
Dan smiled with relief as he looked at Phil with a loving gaze. He was thankful that things were mostly back to normal, with Phil back in the house and he was no longer lonely. But there were unanswered questions rolling like dice in his head, and it caused him to feel dizzy.
"Dan?" Phil said worriedly.
"Yup," Dan concurred, getting up and running back to the bathroom to vomit.

Finally, Dan was able to fall asleep soundly, and Phil sat on the edge of the bed, watching him sleep. Phil sat there for so long, he started to notice Dan's eyelashes would twitch every few seconds, and he wondered what Dan had been dreaming about. Was he having a nightmare, or was he having a lovely dream? Then Dan's head started to move a little, and Phil saw his lips slowly pucker before relaxing into a soft smile. Phil held back a silent giggle, as he imagined what the dream could be about. More or less, it was definitely a good dream.

Phil's eyes began to wander as he looked around Dan's bedroom. The place looked colder and stuffier than what he remembered. Like it hadn't been lived in for quite some time.
Phil's eyes continued to wander until they focused on the journal on Dan's bedside table. Phil's head tilted to the side in inquiry, as he never thought he would see it again, but there it was. He thought after the first time he tried looking through it, Dan would hide it away. But he guessed that maybe in the weeks he had been gone, there had been more things for Dan to write about. But what exactly had he been writing in that journal?
Phil knew he fully respected Dan's privacy, but he had a feeling that he needed to see for himself what Dan had written. In one swift movement, Phil quietly snatched the journal from off the table, and stared down at it with adrenaline pumping through his chest. He breathed out his slowly and quietly flipped through the pages.
Written on the top of the pages were dates and times, with all the writings written below. It looked to be similar to a diary entry but instead of "Dear Diary", it began with the intention of telling a story.
Phil read a bit to himself, and he couldn't deny how beautifully it was written. He didn't leave any details unnoticed. As he read more writing pieces, he noticed on the edges of the pages, there would be some small sketches of vines, flowers, random squiggles, and a few stars. He flipped through some more, and found some sketches of a man. It was just a guess, but Phil was for certain that man was himself — with his striking blue eyes being the only source of color on the pages.
"Phil?" Dan spoke groggily.
Phil froze, slowly closing the journal, and resting it on his lap.
"I'm sorry," Phil spoke softly and shamefully.
Dan sat up, and, while his heart was pounding anxiously, he smiled sweetly at Phil. Like he was thankful for Phil looking into his private journal.
"What's been your favorite part?" Dan asked, gesturing with his eyes to the journal.
Phil smiled awkwardly and flipped through the pages once again. He stopped on one page that was a portrait of himself with a small paragraph next to it.
"This one," Phil said, pointing to it, and he began to read the paragraph aloud.
"December 8th at 12:37am
He wished for something he couldn't have. Is it me? It has to be, for I have thought the same thing for a long time. It seems our thoughts have been shrouded by dark clouds of hopelessness. But when I was laying next to him in the snow, under the stars, with his eyes staring back into mine, the clouds within my mind parted to show a warm sun of hope. Hope that he loves me just as I love him."
A rosy blush flooded to Dan's face as he avoided Phil's loving gaze. He took a deep breath out before looking up at Phil.
"It's true," Dan said shyly. "I wish there was a better way to get my message across."
Phil's heart beated rapidly as he leaned forward, pressing a tender but soft kiss on Dan's lips, and feeling the shock within Dan as he took him by surprise. But after a short moment, Dan relaxed into the kiss, and he felt like he was being lifted into the air. He felt no pain, no nausea, and only as light as a cloud. He felt like his heartstrings were being strummed like a guitar, and they could make the most beautiful sounds.
"Oh, Phil," Dan moaned softly as he kissed back.
After about fifteen seconds, they broke the kiss, and found themselves breathing a little heavier than before. Phil, with his head still in the clouds, glided his fingertips along Dan's cheeks in the lightest of touch but holding him in place. As for Dan, this all felt like one of his realistic dreams he would write down. He reached out and lightly touched Phil's lips that he had just kissed. Phil took this opportunity to gently kiss Dan's fingertips, and Dan smiled dreamily. He knew he hadn't been dreaming, and Phil knew he wasn't drunk. This was love. True love.