Dear Arjun

Chapter 15: Regret! Regret!

Seher's POV

Do you ever regret a decision? Do you ever feel like you made the wrong decision by saying yes to something that you should have obviously said no to? Do you ever feel like you should have thought for a while before rushing into that one decision that's about to change your entire life? For good or for worst? That only time will tell.

But given my gut feeling, I'm betting on worst!

And if your answer to the questions I asked above was, no, then let me tell you what my answer would be.

Yes, I regret my decision of saying that...

"Shubh..."

"Let's get married"

Ugh!

I fucking regret my decision!

And I feel like shouting that out loud to the world.

I fucking regret my decision of agreeing to marry him and it's not just now that I have realized that I made a wrong decision, but I realized it quite earlier, when I could have easily rectified my mistake but I...I just didn't.

God! What have I done!?

The night that I told Shubh that we should get married, was also the same night that I regretted saying that.

And when he dropped me back home and we were sitting in his car in silence in front of my home, I gathered all the courage that I had within me and just when I was about to tell him that, 'I think I rushed into making a decision and we should still think over this marriage thing'...he beat me to it and said.

"You know you've made me the happiest man alive by saying yes to this marriage proposal..."

"After getting out of the relation that I told you about earlier, I never really thought that I would ever get into another relationship again, let alone get married"

"And I know, that it's probably just been 24 hours since we met, but I can tell that you are the one for me"

And as he said those words, I realized that I was screwed...I realized how badly I have managed to get myself stuck in this situation, that I desperately wanted to get out of now.

Shubh seemed so happy that night, that I just couldn't bring myself to say that I don't wanna marry him. I didn't wanna break his heart but I also didn't wish to marry him, something had to be done, so I came up with the idea that I would avoid him as much as I could and he'll just figure it out by himself that I didn't wish to go ahead with this arrangement.

So it's been a month almost that he has been asking me out on dates and I have been avoiding him, saying that I was busy with my work and stuff, and to my bad luck he even believed that I was actually caught up in my work, instead of thinking that something was off about me and I didn't want to marry him, which I obviously wanted him to think.

But three days back, I just couldn't escape him as he stopped by my hospital, to pick me up and took me on a long drive, saying that he missed me and wanted to surprise me, but how am I supposed to tell him that I wasn't surprised but shocked, instead, when I saw him waiting for me outside the hospital that I work at, leaning against his car.

Yeah, I know he's sweet and a gentleman and all...and I may be coming off as a bitch, who's lying to him about being busy and avoiding him as much as I could.

But you cannot really blame me, can you?

What else am I supposed to do? I couldn't bring myself to break his heart, but I also cannot just sacrifice my life because he sees me as the perfect life partner for himself and wants to marry me.