Electric Touch | Jude Bellingham

Chapter 21

I ran round my room, trying to find the pair of shoes John bought for me a few weeks ago. A beautiful pair of Louboutin's that I seemed to have misplaced.

"Eleanor," I yelled out of my bedroom door.

"What?" She rushed in with her pyjamas and a piece of toast in her hand. "Is everything ok?"

"Have you seen those shoes John got me?"

"The fancy ones that come with their own mortgage? No," she smiled, "aren't you meant to be leaving?"

"I was meant to leave 10 minutes ago," I ran over to my bedside table and noticed something sticking out from under it. "Thank the lord."

I grabbed the shoes and stuck them on my feet. I grabbed the leather jacket that hung on the back of my chair. I tiptoed past Eleanor, heels clicking on the hardwood floor.

"So are you going to do it?" She asked, following me into the kitchen.

"Yep."

"Looking like that?"

"Yep."

"You must be evil, he's gonna hate it when you walk out that door," she chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just trying to pluck up the courage to actually go through with it."

"Stay strong."

I walked outside our apartment building and towards the main road in order to try and hail a taxi as I'd left it too late to book an uber.

I distracted myself by noticing the pigeons in the street and the wind rustling through the bare branches of the trees in Hyde Park. Then I noticed my shoes already rubbing my heels. I had only walked around 30 metres. It was not looking good.

I finally got into a cab about 20 minutes after I was meant to meet John. He had arranged to meet me at my favourite little restaurant in Knightsbridge, the one where I first met John. I felt bad doing it here, and every time I did, I wanted to turn this taxi around and curl up on my bed with my jellycats and a tub of Ben and Jerrys.

The driver pulled up outside the restaurant, I thanked him and stepped out into the cold air. The streets were decorated for Christmas and sparkling against the wet London streets.

I plucked up the courage and shut my internal monologue up and walked towards the entrance. The doorman opened the door and I walked into the warmth. There was a pianist in the corner playing what I thought was Lover by Taylor Swift, I scrunched my eyebrows and took a look around the room. I realised, I was the only one there.

I checked the date and the time twice and opened my phone, no messages, nothing. A waiter appeared from behind the bar.

"Miss Lewis, it's so nice to see you again," he smiled.

"Hi, are you closed?"

"No no, Mr Alden has a table waiting, would you like to follow me?"

I did. There was a candlelit walkway towards the back of the restaurant and the walls were lined with red carnations. My heart was pounding in my chest as if it was going to fall out. The waiter held his arm out and showed me round the corner. I paused and blinked, I was internally panicking as I saw John sitting at a singular tables covered in flowers. He smiled.

"Evelyn."

"John," I said shakily, I put one foot in front of the other. "What are you doing?"

He stood up. "Evelyn, you are the most beautiful and important thing in my life. I know I have been absent over these past few months and I would like to change that."

"John, please," I shook my head as he took my hands.

"I love you and I want to spend the rest of life with you," he got down on my knee, "will you marry me?"

I closed my eyes, I could not believe what was happening. "John we've been together for 6 months, I'm 20 and still at uni."

"We can make this work Evelyn, you just have to want it. Do you want it, do you want us?"

For some reason, I couldn't say no. I couldn't say that I didn't love him, that I was in love with someone else.

"It's ok if you need time, it's a big thing to spring on you," John stood up and looked down into my eyes.

"Ok."