Electric Touch | Jude Bellingham

Chapter 23

"Hi," I opened the door to see Jude standing there.

It had only been an hour since I had called him, and I knew that he had a flight to catch early tomorrow morning. I was scared to have this conversation and I didn't really know why. I knew that if I was watching a movie and the main character was me, I would be yelling at the TV saying I was pathetic.

I was being stupid. I didn't love John and I had always loved Jude, but there was just something stopping me from saying those words out loud. "Hi."

"What did you want to tell me?"

That I love you, I said internally. "Do you want to come in?"

He nodded and took his shoes off. He walked to couch and sat down and faced the window. Silently, I prepared myself  what I was going to say. I sat cross legged on the coffee table, directly in front of him, so I could read his face and watch his reaction to what i was about to say.

"Last night," I began, "John proposed."

I saw the Jude's face change. It hardened and the life fell from his eyes. "What did you say?"

"I haven't said anything yet."

He didn't hold my gaze, he was staring out of the window and I couldn't see what he was thinking. "Is that why you called me?"

"No,"I said truthfully.

"Then what? Because I really don't understand why I am here. If you want to marry John, go for it. I won't stand in your way."

"Do you want me to marry John?" I was doing this to test him, but I didn't even know the right answer myself.

He looked at me confused and frustrated. "That's not my decision."

"I'm asking you. Is there any reason that I shouldn't?"

"Not from where I'm sitting."

The room fell quiet. We were stuck at a stalemate. What if he didn't love me? He obviously wasn't going to say anything now. I searched his face looking fora sign, looking for anything to say otherwise, but he wasn't even looking at me. I know I needed to do something.

"Why did you come back?" I asked, a genuine question, one that I needed to know the answer to.

This time, his eyes locked onto mine. "To try and fix what I broke."

I could see in his eyes he was telling the truth. A sense of relief washed over me and a weight that I didn't know was there lifted. It was as if the dust had finally settled and it was just me and him. I could feel us pulling each other in like gravity, inescapable and inevitable.

"Don't marry John," he sat forward in his seat and grabbed my hands. We were so close to each other, just me and Jude against the world, like we were sixteen again. "I know you  don't love him."

"I'm scared Jude," I whispered. " I don't want to be heartbroken again. I couldn't breathe when you left me."

"I know, I'm sorry. If I could turn back time I would. But I can't and right now in this moment, all I want is you because I love you."

Before he could even finish his sentence I found myself kissing him. Everything I had wanted him to say, he said. "I love you too. I was never going to marry John because I've always loved you. But you have to promise that we'll be ok this time, nothing will come in between us? Especially football."

"Well, the champions league is coming up," he said, and I stopped to stare at him.

"Jude."

"I'm kidding," he grinned as I hit his arm. "Wild horses couldn't tear me away from you."