XI. the lost one's ode

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sumedh :

I stared at the woman before me awkwardly.
Her emotional eyes, loving demenour, not so cold behaviour made me distinctly uncomfortable.
I gulped as she gently placed her hand on my cheek.

"Pata hai.. maine tujhe kitna yaad kia?", she asked softly.
A tear trickled down her eyes.
I immediately took a step back.

"Aap.. aap log dining hall mein wait kijiye.. mai.. mai aata hu.", I mumbled trying very hard to not have any eye contact.
"Diwan..", I said.
Diwan nodded, as I looked down, shoving my hair back, pretending to be normal.

I saw the woman's momentary heartbreak at my sudden stepping back. But there wasn't much I could do to help it.
Emotions, relations, they had sabotaged me before.. and now.. I did not have enough will to let them ruin me again.

Diwan took them to the dining hall as I inhaled deeply.
What is wrong with me? Why is seeing her making me feel things? I'm not supposed to feel anything.

And to answer my query, a memory seemed to come before my eyes.

My age was thirteen back then.
I had run away from the house of my adoptive parents in hopes of finding my family.
I did not have much. Just the address and a photograph of my mother.
The one I still carried.

When I had reached the house, the first thing I had noted was the name.
"Krishna Kunj"
I remembered standing behind the boundary wall, peeping in through the open door.
"Bakuda!"

I had frozen, barely breathing.
"Mai doodh nehi piyunga!", the voice was exactly like mine.
I peeped in.
It felt like I was staring at my own reflection, but much more happy, much more cheerful, much more childish.
"Uff! Itna bada ho gaya hai.. lekin phir bhi dekho. Doodh peene se pehle maa ko sata raha hai.", I stared at the woman.

Just the way I had stared today.
Heart pacing, feeling a strange emotional connection. Over the years, her carefree look at gone. Yet, she remained the same.
Enigmatically beautiful, beautiful in a way that was beyond words. An aura of affection and kindness.
I stared at her from afar, as if yearning.
I pulled out the photograph.
Yes, it was the same woman.

My mother.

"Sahi kaha! Mai bada ho gaya hu.. aur bade log doodh nehi peete!", My twin brother said giggling as he immediately turned towards the door and rushed out.
He ran past me without even noticing.

"Samar!", I heard my mother shout behind him in vain.
Now why would he trouble her this way? Just listen to her na.
He ran so fast that very soon he was out of sight.
She jogged out to catch hold of him.
She too was about to run past me when she paused.

My heart skipped a beat.

She glanced at me.
"Hmm.. toh yahan ho tum.", She said placing her hands on her waist with narrowed eyes.
I wanted to say that I wasn't Samar, but too late.
She caught hold of my wrist and pulled me into the house.
I followed her in silence, speechless.
My heart pounding like mad.

She made me forcefully sit at the table. She must have been too busy to notice the change in clothes.
"Uff.. Anu kya hua?", This was a man's voice.
"Kuch nehi Toshu ke Papa.. bas.. Samar badmashiyan kar raha hai.", She replied, her tone immediately softening.
"Samar, doodh pe lo good boy ki tarah.. papa chocolate laake denge.", The voice came from the bedroom.

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