Raat Akeli Hai | 𝒂𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒋

LXI. twin flames

vanraj :

The clock struck somewhere near ten.

Time was like sand between my fingers, it slipped away and I just watched it slip away.

I placed my hand on the boundary wall.
It was dark.
The house before me looked like an abandoned home.
No light, no voices, no happiness.
It was a house lost in the darkness of the longest tragic night.

I forced myself to look up.

Krishna Kunj
The name gleamed in the moonlight even today.

How many times have I come home, tired and looked at it?
And then, looked at the kitchen window.

Anupamaa would be right there, cooking something.
And she would glance up that very moment.
Our eyes would lock.
Her face, even after the day's fatigue, would light up immediately as she would jog out into the living room.

With the soft smile on my lips, I'd walk down to the door and she would take my bags from me.
And she would look at me, with the love of lifetimes.
Pure devotional love.

I knew now, she yearned to wrap her arms around me.
Pull herself into my embrace, want me to wrap her in my warmth, remember that our relationship was beyond just work and family.

It took me years to understand.
To realise.
And when I finally did.

She left.
I gulped as I straightened up, holding the boundary wall.
They had not started the work here, yet.
Shah House still remained the same, except, it's former glory was lost.

My head was heavy, mind numb.
Without my car, I had taken a rickshaw till here.
Drunk, alcohol & smoke, nothing seemed alright.
There were so many ads that said smoking kills, alcohol is injurious to health - yet I was unfortunately still alive and breathing.

I dragged myself down to the door.
I pushed the door open.

And suddenly, everything lit up.
I could hear voices, I could hear music.
I was truly, losing my mind.
And now, I had started enjoying it.
It was my only solace.

Through the blur of tears, I saw her.

Anupamaa Joshi Shah.
Wearing a beautiful white saree, hair left open. She stood right behind the centre table.
A cake on top of it.
She was lighting the candles.

I stared at her.
She was beautiful, yet beautiful seemed an understatement.
I felt like she might have, for years.
My arms yearned to hug her, to pull her closer. Staring at her, my heart paced a little faster. All my fatigue left.

She looked up at me.
"Vannu ji.. aap wahi khade rahenge?", She asked beaming.
I said nothing as I walked in, down to her.
She looked at me, sighing, nodding her head.
"Haalat toh dekhiye apni. Tch. Samar beta.. yeh Papa ko dekho toh. Aaj janamdin hai, phir bhi aise thak haarkar aaye hai.", She said.

I kept staring at her.
"Tum ho na..", I whispered, "Tum theek kar do mujhe."
She placed her hand on my cheek.
I felt my skin, yearning for it. Wishing it was real.
Why was it not?
Why did I not feel her presence even if she was right her?
Why could I only dream of her and not have her in reality?