Raat Akeli Hai | 𝒂𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒋

LXII. broken & re-found

pakhi :

I almost jumped off the cab, paid the money and rushed into the apartment.
It was early morning. The sun had barely risen.
Thankfully I got the late night flight from Delhi.

"Arrey Pakhi beta.. tu aa gayi—"

"Papa kaha hai?!", I asked.
The panic was high.
Baa was standing before me. Bapuji with her.
"Beta, woh andar hai. Abhi kuch der pehle usse ghar le aaye. Soo rahe hai.", Bapuji said comfortingly.

"Mujhe dekhna hai..", I said as I jogged into his room.
He was right there, lying on the bed.
Someone had pulled the quilt over him.
It wasn't difficult to know that he had been drunk.

The scent of alcohol hung in the room.
I drew in a deep breath, and walked in.
The book I had sent for him lay on the desk, almost untouched. The letter, had been opened, but ineffective.
He was mumbling something in his sleep.

I walked down to him.

"Anu..", he whispered.
My heart wrenched.
All of us had lost her, yet none of us were nearly as devastated as him.
I walked down to his cupboard.
I opened it to find his clothes in a mess.

Had Mummy seen this, he would have been scolded.
I picked up the piles of disarranged clothes and put them on a nearby chair, determined to put them back in place nicely.

"Anu.. mat jao.", He whispered.
It felt like a stab on my heart.
Years.
It had taken them years to finally fall in love, understand each other, and yet - it all ended so hopelessly?
Why had I not been more vigilant?
Why did we even let that car be there?
We have just one job, and we failed.

I started arranging the clothes in silence.

"Pakhi.. tu rehne de..", Baa said in a whisper as she walked in.
"Aap papa ke liye nimbu paani bana do. Mai yeh arrange kar deti hu.", I whispered.
Baa nodded as she walked away.

Yesterday, I had come with a very clear head.
I couldn't leave him to poor Baa Bapuji. They were old and tired.
I must stay here and take care of things the way Mummy did.
Someone had to pick the baton after her.

Adhik obviously had not followed me down here.
He had a job, Ishu had school and I had my priorities.

I shut the cupboard door, inhaling deeply.
Maybe, I should finally give up trying to fix my own stupid life and work for greater good.
Sumedh, Samar and Toshu Bhai had their own jobs and settled, sorted lives. They couldn't be here, it was not possible.

I had been selfish all my life, maybe it was time to be selfless.

My phone buzzed.
I picked up the call.

"Pakhi what on earth is this?! Why are there Ishu's custody papers on my desk?! That too with my name!", Adhik shouted.

I gulped.
Baa got the glass of lemon juice. I indicated to her to put it beside Papa's bed, on the side table.
I turned and walked down to the balcony of the room.

The sun had risen. It was morning.

"I gave what you wanted—"
"What?! Pakhi, I thought we were together!", He said.
"I tried talking to you about our past, Adhik—"
"How does it even matter—"
"It matters to me!", I almost snapped,
"You raised your hand on me, tried manipulation and then gave one sorry and got fred of all your crimes. I needed to talk about it!"