Raat Akeli Hai | 𝒂𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒋

XXXXVI. destroy & save

vanraj :

That was definitely my most embarrassing memory.
And guess who had caused it?
Obviously my to-be wife, Anupamaa Joshi.
I had been a laughing stock for years in my friend circle because she had not only called me a monkey but also beaten me up.

I am not even kidding.
I was a very soft core boy when I was young. I still remembered I had returned with a black eye and a punch on my face.

That day's therapy session had ended soon after because both of us got involved in another round of "How could you hit me Anu?! I wasn't stealing! I thought someone lost their chappals!"
"Of course you were! Therapist ji, he did!"
And so on and so forth.

The poor therapist signed both of us for therapy for the next week.
Three sessions each week, until we realised we felt better.

Two weeks had gone by and six classes were over.

I lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
I could feel her breath on my chest, slow and calm breathing. The clock struck eleven at night.
It had been a rather short day for us.

Sumedh had come back home and was resting in his bedroom.
Dimpy had been particularly concerned about him, obviously she loved him. It was no secret anymore. Toshu and Kinjal had acted responsible and had managed a lot of the hospital work. Pakhi and Adhik hadn't come back home, they were apparently on an "ex's date".
Thankfully the kids were not affected because Baa Bapuji were doing the good work of taking care of them.

Anu and I had been running between work and home as well as therapy sessions throughout.

I inhaled the scent of Anu's shampoo, lavender maybe. It did not matter much, as long as it was her.
Sessions had not gone too heavy yet. We were still discussing the start of our marriage, and our lives.

Anu had broken down while speaking about her father today.
She was so exhausted after that, that she had simply come home and curled up on the bed and fallen asleep. Tired, I too lay down beside her. In her sleep, she had immediately wrapped her arm around me and rested her head on my chest.
I gently caressed her back as she inhaled a deep relaxing breath.

"Toshu ke Papa..", She whispered.
"Hmm."
"You are not working today?", She asked in a drowsy voice.
"Tired.", I replied.
She looked up. Her hair was open, some of the strands came over her face. I carefully removed them.
"Are you fine now?", I asked softly.
Her eyes were still puffy with the crying.
"I miss Baba.", She whispered, "And Maa."
I drew in a deep breath.
"I can't even imagine how painful it would be without parents.", I whispered, as I felt her hand on my cheek.

She dragged herself a little up and turned to rest her chin on my chest, looking at me. 
I could see the tears glisten at the edge of her eyes.
"Anu..", I whispered, helplessly.
"It hurts..", She said as she edged closer and buried her face in the corner of my neck. Her arms around my neck. I held her close.
I almost heard another sob.
It wrenched my heart, as I held her close.

I turned her over. 
She shut her eyes, as I watched another tear roll down.
I hovered over her, inhaling deeply. Her arms remained wrapped around my neck, mine now under her, holding her.

.

anupamaa :

I knew, he hated to see me this way. Yet, I could not help myself.
Every memory of my late parents ached. This was why I did not want to go for therapy, I did not want to dig old wounds.
And now, with everything right before my eyes, I did not know how to remain sane anymore.

My father had been my everything. My best friend, my protector, my everything. And when he passed away, I just did not get the time to mourn. I had to handle my young brother and tragedy stuck mother. And as time passed, the pain remained bottled up in my chest like a suffocatingly heavy stone.
And then my mother too, left me. In the five years of isolation, I had truly seen hell. 

I shut my eyes. I could feel his warm breath. I desperately needed him close, to clutch onto him. His presence made me feel better. I still could not believe I was so deeply in love with this man, again. And he just made it deeper with every passing moment.

I felt his lips on the side of my eye, he kissed a tear. The touch of his lips, gentle. Almost therapeutic. 
Before I could open my eyes, I felt him kiss my eyes one by one, in the most comforting way possible. I slowly opened my eyes, to find him still over me, supported by an elbow. Only inches from my face. His eyes brimmed with tears, they glistened in the dim light of the room.

"You really shouldn't love me so much..", I whispered as he held my face, with a soft smile.
"Why?", He asked, in a numb voice.
"It scares me.. what if.. you know.. something happens to me..", I said, I felt his thumb on my lips instantly.
"Don't ever say that, Anu.", He stated, I heard the fear in his voice.
"We cannot live forever.. And.. the way you have started loving me.. I don't know what will happen if I die-", I said as I held his hand on my face.
"I don't care.. Nothing will happen to you..", He said immediately as he kissed my forehead.
"I used to say the same thing to my father..", I said, inhaling a cold breath.

He edged closer, our lips brushed, but he did not capture them as he normally would. He remembered the "nothing before marriage" pact.
"If anything happens to you Anu.. I will burn down the whole world..", He whispered, seriously.
I stared at him, in silence.
"Like Mahadev did for Sati?", I asked, trying to take the tension off.
His lips broke into a soft smile as he finally lay back on the bed. My hand holding his.
"Yes.", He replied, taking my hand on his chest.

He looked at me.
"Sleep now..", He said, the smile intact.
"Burning the world wouldn't bring me back though.", I said as I turned towards him.
"Without you.. nothing matters. Not this world, not me. Nothing.", He stated, his gaze fixed at the ceiling.

At that moment, it had meant nothing but a normal conversation.
Yet, neither of us had realised, nothing was normal anymore.