Wilted Rose

CHAPTER 10

Ayesha's POV

The sound of flashes and shutters roared, as soon as me and Abhir, stepped out of the car. Oh God, the paparazzi, they don't even let you breath peacefully in public, do they? The people were shouting and yelling asking us various questions. Abhir wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer securely taking me into the main hall. The party was at Mr Ahuja's Mansion and there were plenty of businessmen as well as businesswomen.

I felt my social anxiety kicking in when I saw the crowd around. I started playing with my mangalsutra. Abhir, as if sensing my unease, gently wrapped his arm around my waist and started walking with me. I smiled at his small gesture. 

These small things are enough to make my heart race. It makes me feel something surreal. Too good that I do not deserve it. First he led me to Mr Ahuja, the host of the party where we shared pleasantries. Mr Ahuja's wife was too sweet and humble and I couldn't help but be comfortable with her in a short period of time. She loved her husband, to the moon and back. She was head over heels for him and it was visible in her eyes. They way she admired him, and looked at him. She had that same shine in her eyes that Abhir has, whenever he looks at me. She admires him the way Abhir admires me. My smile faded. My mind went hazy. 

"I love you."

"Well princess, thank you for saying that." he replied. Those weren't the words I was expecting. 

"Won't you say it back?" I asked

"Do you need words to feel my affection towards you?" Was the answer he gave. I didn't want to make him feel bad. I slightly nodded in a no and smiled at him. He smiled back, grabbed my neck and pulled me into a kiss. I responded back. Maybe he is right, sometimes we don't need words to feel their love. But at that moment it was nagging me that even his actions weren't making me feel his love, his affection. Idk what's wrong with me.

There is soemthing definitely wrong with me. I was and am too naive. I couldn't recognize his real intentions. He used me as a toy in his game and I allowed him to do so. I gave him love and all he gave me in return was fear, fear of falling in love again. I don't want love, I ain't capable of giving love now. I gave my everything and got nothing. Now, I have nothing to give to someone who is already giving me everything, without even asking. I looked at Abhir smiling and talking with Mr Ahuja. 

My head got heavy and my eyes stung. He was so in love with me, no doubt. Me on the other hand, is so fucked up that I don't even know how to love him back. I felt like a sinner at that moment. A sinner killing everything he wishes for. I felt guilty. I was right when I said I don't deserve him. He is too pure to be tainted by me. I kept looking at him, with grief and remorse in my eyes. My eyes may be filled with tears, but I cared less. 

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I noded my head in a no and said nothing. I knew the moment I would utter a word I would break down. I surely didn't want to make a scene here. The bussiness talk between the two were over and we bid adios to Mr and Mrs Ahuja. I kept walking with him, wherever he went and tried to indulge in conversations whenever somebody tried to involve me. I for sure was not able to smile. I was gloomy and heavy. It was an emotional jet lag. I didn't know what to do or how to react. However, I tried to remain as calm and composed as possible. 

Abhir was starting to grow suspicious about my behaviour, but I didn't speak a word. I felt his fingers slip into mine as he intertwined our hands and gave my hand a little squeeze. He was trying to make me feel better. This saddened me more. He does everything he could, but I do nothing even if I wish to. I looked at him. He blinked his eyes assuring me. I bit my lower lip and looked away immediately, blinking back my tears rapidly.