ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ || ʀᴀᴅɪᴏᴀᴘᴘʟᴇ

• 2 •

Alastor downed his bloody tea in one gulp, his smile was tense as he recounted the events of the last few days. Rosie listened intensely, occasionally giggling at the poorly hidden venom in his voice.

"He called me balding! I have an undercut! Not that he knows what a good hair style is, no one can see his horrible hair under his dumb hat." Alastor was rambling now, but Rosie stayed supportive.

"Sounds like you've finally met your match!"

"My match?"

"For someone who keeps his feelings mysterious, it seems the King of Hell has caused you to come out of your emotionally constipated phase."

"I'm not emotionally constipated."

"Right, and I'm not a cannibal." Rosie brought her teacup to her lips, taking a purposely suspenseful pause. Alastor was itching to talk more, but Rosie was right - not many people have the pleasure of seeing the big bad Radio Demon bitch about someone calling his haircut Edna from The Incredibles. Alastor rarely let things get under his skin, but seeing Lucifer show up, practically demanding to live at their rundown hotel (maybe not demanding like Alastor had spitefully retold, but it didn't seem like Lucifer would take no as an answer so easily), it scratched at his ego.

Alastor's ego is a very sensitive subject. In his human life he was a serial killer, and he killed strategically, and he itched for recognition. Unfortunately, he only got famous after his death, where they found his dead body, mistaken as a deer in the woods, next to his victim. He was sure his mother was distraught, but she was probably glad such a monster was gone. In Hell, he wanted to be the best, most terrifying overlord in all of that side of the pentagram. He worked hard, trying to prove himself as predator when he resembled prey.

When his seven year absence ended, he expected people to fear him again, which was a foolish ideology. The Vees had become ever more powerful, and with a tight leash around his neck like a noose, there was only so much Alastor could do to make them fear him. He did the only thing he knew how to, smile no matter the situation. Even when Lucifer showed up, claiming to be the best father.

Alastor did not care to be a father figure, especially to the Princess of Hell. However, he had grown accustomed to the members of the tacky hotel and he loved the hierarchy. He was the apex predator, the top of the food chain. Charlie thought she was in control, but it couldn't be further from the truth, especially now she had made that deal with him. When Lucifer entered, he was instantly King of the Jungle, like a lion - all of a sudden, Alastor was prey again. He knew Lucifer can kill him instantly, with just a snap of his fingers.

This whole father figure battle was all for show, Alastor wanted to know what made the King of Hell tick, and his weakness was his love for his family. Alastor was acquainted with Lilith, and that alone was enough to hold over Lucifer's head. Charlie seemed to genuinely care for Alastor, he wasn't sure why, but he could use her to gain advantage. All he had to do was distract Lucifer long enough to figure out a loophole to his deal and grow powerful once again. He wouldn't be able to beat Lucifer, but he would die valiantly and be known as the Radio Demon who injured the King of Hell.

"So what's your plan Alastor?"

"I'm going to win this battle of the dads."

•

"Next bonding activity is a human game, Monopoly!" Charlie laid out a board and some dice and counters. Everyone groaned and moaned at this announcement.

"Charlie, are you sure you want to play this game? I've heard it's the leading cause for divorce and family issues." Vaggie whispered, and Charlie rolled her eyes.