The Way We Say Goodbye

Chapter 11

Each day passed in a blur, and before I knew it, it was the day of the funeral. I was numb and barely processed all of the people who were coming and going, giving their condolences. I stood alone at the front of the room near the caskets for most of the visitation before my uncle and his kids arrived.

"Zdravo, Delta," my uncle greeted.

"Zdravo," I repeated back before adding, "I don't know much Serbian."

He shook his head in what seemed to be disappointment. "I always told Nikita he need teach you Serbian," he mumbled in a thick Serbian accent.

My uncle, Nicholai, had always been proud to be Serbian. My father always said that Nicholai regretted moving with him to America. He would always comment on how he dreamed of returning home, but he couldn't afford to move back to Serbia. He would say that he was stuck with the foolish Americans. He always looked down on my father for marrying an American woman and adopting American customs.

"You remember your cousins: Damir, Janika, and Svetlana," he motioned to them.

"My dad has pictures of all of you."

Nicholai grunted in response before turning to his kids and speaking with them in Serbian. I stood uncomfortably, feeling like an outsider.

More people came through, offering their condolences to each of us. Nicholai occasionally muttering to himself about the foolish Americans. I stood stiffly, wishing for all of this to end and trying to keep my thoughts from filling with Osbourne. I wished he'd come to comfort me, but I dreaded seeing him again after the way he left. I wished any of my friends would come. Any familiar face that might alleviate the mind-numbing pain I was feeling. As the visitation was drawing to a close and the funeral was about to begin, I felt a weight in my chest as I hadn't seen any of my friends. Just as I was about to find a seat, I spotted Bowie. He rushed in with a woman following him. He shook hands with my uncle and cousins before pulling me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry I'm so late. My mom wanted to come, so I had to wait for her to get off work."

I wrapped my arms around him and mumbled, "I'm really glad you made it."

He pulled back and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "I'm surprised Jack isn't up here with you."

"He probably isn't coming. It's a long story," I waved off as tears began welling up in my eyes. "I'll tell you later," I added as I wiped the tears away.

"Okay," he said, looking at me in concern.

"You must be Bowie's mom." I turned my attention to the woman behind Bowie. "I'm Delta."

She pulled me in a hug. "Marissa. It's so nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you from the boys. I'm so sorry for your losses."

I cleared my throat and muttered, "Thank you."

"If you need anything, anything at all, just say the word. You are always welcome in my home."

I gave her a sad smile and said, "I might have to take you up on that offer. I really don't like staying in that house all alone."

"You've been staying there alone?" She asked in shock.

I nodded as tears began spilling down my face.

She pulled me in another hug and said, "You won't be tonight. You'll come home with us."

I took a shaky breath and said, "Thank you."

After the interaction with Bowie and his mom, everyone took their seats and the service began. I couldn't focus on anything the minister said. The only thing going through my mind was, "I'm never going to see my parents again. I'm never going to hear my dad yell that I'm going to be late for school again. He's never going to call me a krava again. I'm never going to have movie nights with them. No more family dinners. No more holidays with them. My mom is never going to make me soup when I'm sick again. No more baking cookies with her when I'm upset. All the things I thought I would experience with them, gone." I was so broken and lost, and I didn't know how to fix it.

I was pulled from these thoughts when the service ended, and we were ushered out to the parking lot. I sat alone in the family limo that was provided by the funeral home. My uncle opted to drive his family to the cemetery himself. I cried alone the entire drive there.

I felt numb as the minister spoke, prayed, and read the Bible at the burial site. It all passed in a blur, and I barely registered when Joshua and Violet walked up to me.

Joshua pulled me into a hug and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Del." He pulled away before speaking at a louder volume. "Marco tried to come, but he was too emotional. He was worried it would make you more upset. I tried to convince him to come with me and ended up coming late. I made it in time for the service. Violet rode with me."

Violet took that opportunity to voice how sorry she was. She hugged me, "I can't imagine how you're feeling. I wish I could make it better."

I cleared my throat and said, "Thanks."

Joshua asked, "Are you staying with family?"

I shook my head. "I've been staying at the house by myself, but I'm staying over at Bowie's house tonight. His mom insists."

Joshua nodded. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped, as if he were trying to find the right words to say. He sighed and spoke, "I have to ask. Where's Osbourne?"

Tears brimmed in my eyes. "Not here, and I don't want to talk about it." I wiped my eyes and glanced around until I spotted Bowie and Marissa. "Um...I'm gonna go. I'll see you guys at school."

I quickly turned and walked away before they could respond. As I approached Bowie and Marissa, Marissa wrapped her arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a side hug. She guided me in the direction of Bowie's car. "I'm so sorry, Hun. I know this isn't easy. Do you need to pick up clothes from your house?"

I shook my head. "I really don't want to go back there at all right now."

She nodded. "I understand. You can borrow some of Bowie's clothes."

"Thanks for offering her my wardrobe, Mom," Bowie muttered sarcastically from the other side of me.

She ignored his comment. "We'll order pizza and watch movies. I'll buy a bunch of junk, and we can all just eat our feelings tonight."

I sniffled and muttered, "That sounds nice."