The Way We Say Goodbye

Chapter 27

I was put on house arrest, and I was permitted to continue my schoolwork online. The days would drag, and I was constantly left alone with thoughts of my parents. I no longer had pot to distract me, and Osbourne and I were on better terms. I couldn't avoid dealing with my parents' deaths anymore.

I would sob until I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my dreams were often filled with them—happy and alive. I would wake up and be reminded of the horrible truth of them being gone. I was miserable, but I was finally dealing with losing them. I was facing it instead of running away. As much as it hurt to face it, I was.

My days were mostly spent alone until my foster family came home. Even then, I felt alone. I still felt like a piece to a different puzzle. I was counting down the days to my move to California.

The start to that day wasn't any different. I spent the day turning in assignments, and then I cried until I had no tears left. Eventually, Phoenix came home, and I happened to be coming down the stairs, headed for the kitchen. I felt like making cookies. Phoenix passed me and was headed up the stairs when I turned and called his name.

He stopped and turned. "What do you want?"
I hesitated, rethinking what I was about to ask. I let out a breath and forced the words out. "Do you want to make cookies with me?"

His eyebrows furrowed together as he looked down at me. "Cookies?"

"Uhh...it's stupid. Never mind," I mumbled quickly, backing out on the invite.

"No, wait," he called as he came down the stairs towards me. "I'll make cookies with you. I just didn't expect you to ask me that."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Phoenix."

He shrugged and mumbled, "If Destiny gets home soon, she can help."

I nodded beside him as we walked into the kitchen.

Destiny didn't get home in time to help make the cookies, but we promised to let her help put the next batch on the cookie sheet. In the meantime, she was playing in her room, and Phoenix and I were hanging out in the kitchen.

"So why did you want to make cookies?"

I looked over at him. I hesitated to answer. Finally, I took a deep breath and told him. "My mom used to make cookies with me when I was sad or upset."

He looked at me with furrowed brows. "You wanted to make cookies because you're sad?"

I nodded and looked away. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, and I tried to push the emotions down. "It's...it's been really hard...losing my parents. I was really close with them."

"You know, we would've been your family, if you'd have let us."

I looked at him, sadness washing over me. "I don't fit in here, Phoenix. You have a wonderful family, but it just reminds me of what I lost."

He was quiet for a moment before he asked, "Did you have any siblings?"

I shook my head. "Nope. No siblings."

"It was always just you and your parents?"

I nodded. "Just the three of us."

"Are you close to your uncle? The one you're going to live with?"

I looked at him. "No. The first time I officially met him was at my parents' funeral."

"So you're going to move to another state to live with a man you don't know because it's too hard to live here?"

I wiped the tears that started running down my cheeks. "Yup."

Phoenix did something I never expected him to do. He walked over to me and hugged me. "If you decide you don't like living with him, I'm sure Mom and Dad will let you come back here."

I wrapped my arms around him and began sobbing on his shoulder. I had done nothing but push this family away, and here was this kid making me feel welcomed and loved despite all that I'd said and done.

The rest of that night was spent laughing with Phoenix and Destiny while we made and ate cookies. I finally was feeling like myself again and that I might make it through. Even though I was broken without my parents, I was going to be okay.